Audible knocks.

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Hello. Anyone there?

I opened the door,

And saw my mother smiling.

It's no wonder she stood quiet,

Because a knock tells me that,

I'm not alone.

A day in life would be better if we understood the values it gives..

Don't many of us suffer a common disease of laziness? We just pout, shout and complain for the joy of receiving attentiveness from those who are actually willing.

Genius is only one percent inspiration. Where is the other 99? It all comes down to perspiration. The great inventor, Thomas Edison, who invents things that are needed in this world, believes that all his great creations do not come by luck, but by work.

I have tried to walk the talk but often, situations impede me from committing to do so. So people will call us a quitter, a sensitive loser and tell you "Hey, what happened to all your big talks? You're no different from any other lazy bums no matter how hard your try to skew off."

They could tell you too, that great moments come from great opportunities, or if there's a will there's a way. It's gives someone the optimistic feeling that all things are possible no matter how bad system can be. Change can happen if we act to topple it or reconstruct it.

Somehow, my opinions don't necessarily matter to my superiors. They would come to me, saying that are heavily burdened with tons of work when in truth they don't. I'm not enough of a blind fool to believe that laughing and smiling while doing practically nothing all morning, depict stress and feeling of wanting to scream in distress.

I want to give some examples. I want to say out their names. I want to let people know. I want a change. I want the best for everybody. I want to believe that situations can be done with higher efficiency. I want to work under those who actually know and have a strategic mind on their duty.

Not hiding behind a brick wall and scribbling their names on the walls while cursing. Not living knowing that the future generations will suffer the same fate. Not knowing that things can be done better and yet it is done in a much worse condition. Not dealing with superiors who are seemingly asinine in their actions and throwing all the darts to you.

But I can't. It is those moments where it's either you tell a white lie or you just keep your mouth shut cause the truth will only cause to be in bigger calamities and we are effortless against all the adversities.

I have failed to live up to my dreams for the change cause I'm only a mere dust on the shirt of hobo. Insignificant among the insignificance. My ideas are only to be shared to those who are willing to hear. To those who care and believe in me.

Unfortunately for them too, they have no power to do so.

So, what I realise now is that there are two kinds of pouters. One who understands and are passionate about what they pout, and one who pouts only for the sake of social recognition among their peers.

They can be differentiated by what they say. By how they really feel. By their effort.

But when all is in vain, they give up and drown in disappointment. Such as myself.

We live our lives for the purpose of achieving our goals as soon as we have one we cling to. Along the way comes challenges and trials that not many could go through. It's not solely because that their weak or afraid. Sometimes it could because the challenge is too strong that it seems impossible that we gradually grow tired and when all energy is sapped, we give up.

Pleasures of life are everywhere. All around is us. If we can't make it through, take a step back and enjoy life the way it should be :

Do what we can in the most simplest of way.

That way, we may not easily grow tired.

Which team FTW?

Sorry for those expecting something out from this blog which had been stagnant water for weeks now. Frugality in Warren Buffet's philosophy had probably rooted into my mind, expelling all ingenuity and ideas to write and gossip on today's current matter.

What had been troubling me is that sharing ideas and thoughts must come with plentiful and major time-consuming research. I intend to write bout the World Cup fever, especially after the match whereby DPR Korea was literally drowned into a vast sea of spectators cheering wildly, spilling cups of beer and horning the ever annoying vuvuzelas for their opposing team. Portugal thrashed them into oblivion with the seventh goal. It was an endless barrage of balls fleeting pass through the innocent goalie who could do nothing to stop the ball but to stare at it rolling at the back of the net . A friend of my simply concluded that it was because their morale was pounded flat on the ground. Could this be so? Were they really that beat down to earth after playing fairly well in the first half? What happened?

Kim Jong must have called during half time.

What about France? The runner-ups of the last worldcup. Dropped out in the group stages? Unfortunately, my limited time into researching this matter cost me the flair to write about my opinion on this. All I can this, the World Cup so far, has not caught my utter excitement with the big names lying under the carpet of the less famed countries.

Nevertheless, Argentina and Brazil have been playing well, with Messi having yet to score in this World Cup and Maicon's stunning goal in their opening group match against Kim Jong's men. Maradona, the proud owner of "The Hand Of God" and scorer of "The Goal Of The Century", seems to be doing a hell of a good job coaching the Argentinian football team. Could it be because of his eager, arrogant, confident, rough and stern look depicted on his face? A legend. An icon. The greatest footballer coaching a dominant team. Something spectacular is just waiting to happen.

So, who are you rooting for this World Cup? Or you one those who cheers along with the crowd to join in the fever? if you are, pick a team or two, cause that's when the fever begins.

Anyway, why the hell is SUKMA ongoing during the World Cup? I'm having trouble choosing which is of higher imperative.

Try as I might..

All ripped and twisted the fabric of fate that I spread on this land I once sowed before our time was born.

Majestically, the sky tore open and came down a shining trident the hands of many seek to possess. But with all their might too, they were only adequately able to just lay their sight upon it's glorious radiance and listen to the roaring clashes it made when it stroke the mighty sword of the emperor.

I dream, and sought to believe that nothing in life comes without payment. For every actions comes with a price. As mentioned by Newton's Thrird Law of motion, every action must have its reaction.

And for now, all I could do is do what I believe what's right and I shall not let anyone stir this faith of mine. And believe for all my demenours, there will be a price for it -be it good or evil deeds-.

Watch out! The road's a playground this time around!

Hurry! Pack your bags, not forgetting your toothbrush and shavers for your legs, and leave your house! Holidays had just got its kick start!

The highways were jam packed with all sorts of vehicles driven by all sorts of people in all sorts of direction to all sorts of destinations. It’s like Bill Gates is throwing out his life savings money to us Sarawakians and everyone is on lookout for its dropout whereabouts. No matter how life threatening it will be.

The climax of any racing competition, be it the Moto GP, Formula One, Nascar or ‘Mat Rempit’ is often the crash involved, or at least any ‘near-miss’ accidents.

I was driving along the highway to Kuching last Friday, which fortunately falls on a public holiday and my eyes observed many occurences where it seemed to be the advent of a major catastrophe. Cars chasing each other as if they were cop chase scenes, where only the criminals are pursued by enraged road users. Like me.

Men are driven by an inexplicably crazy ego where it makes them the king of the road. It would be alright if there was only one person sitting on the throne, but when everyone starts to wear the crown, we all can expect hell to break lose.

Especially when it's the festive season, such as the upcoming Gawai Dayak festival, whereby everyone is taking this early holiday the chance to go back to their ‘kampung’ sooner than the festival. We all are oppurtunists when it comes to holiday. The earlier we depart, the longer will the holiday lasts.

No one likes long lines. Queing up in banks, lining up behind the cashier or at the back of a long traffic. All are susceptible to people cutting lines, infuriating everyone except the felon.

Human desire seeks danger. Risks. For the thrill of it. Fundamentally speaking, there is no wrong overtaking in road, but when it gives a sudden large infusion of adrenaline rush, something is bound to happen, good or bad. Super cars just managed to overtake and miss the oncoming traffic just in the nick of time, cars following inches behind at 100 km/h , motorcyclist accelerating in the middle of the road to slice in between both sides of traffic, all this are exciting to watch, if it’s a circus show.

Drivers are good, but they are not safe. Road accidents do not only happen to those who do not abide by the rules, but those who believes too much in special effects that allow cars to sustain heavy damage or posess the technologies of a batmobile.

It is the holiday, but that’s not the golden ticket for us to rush off to our hometowns, not caring for the safety of other road users. Festivals and holidays bring people together to celebrate with joy and laughter, not spending some lousy afternoon mourning over the fact that you should have not overtook that motorcyclist with a basket of paddies on his back.

Drive safe. It is for the good of your family and loved ones. Don’t let the rice wine ruin your future. Drink only the day before you drive and have a good night rest before you depart back to your self-implied hectic life.

Happy holidays everyone.

Teacher's Day.

In conjunction with SMK Kidurong's Teacher's Day celebration, I have prepared the following text :

Teachers mould the lives of the pupils that they influence. Lessons learned from teachers will perpetually remain with their students throughout their life. They are the ones who lay down the foundation on which we students stand upon. Here, today at this very moment, teachers are the sole reason we are who we are today. For everything comes from nothing as we are nothing without teachers. Therefore, we must honour and respect our teachers.

Teaching, the most noble of all profession has been given the highest priority and respect as they are the only group of faculties that are given a special date to honour their virtous sacrifices.

But why is this date so important? So special? That we are invited here today to celebrate this celebration together? It is as though all teachers gathered here, are born on the same day that they have to share the same birthday. Is it not an insult to other job holders?

However, teachers hold a much greater responsibility in shaping the nation. For without them, who would our forfathers be? Who would our parents be? And what would our lives be should no one educate us on the basis of life? How would we live our lives if everyone is not educated? There would be no doctors, no atheletes, no carpenters, no engineers and to each and everyone of you, your parents would be nothing.

Teaching could be a disheartening job as they are forced to willingly make themselves progressively unnecessary as the sudents traversed along the journey of life. However, what would be more piercing to a teacher’s heart is when the student fail to adhere to the teacher’s hope and determination to help the student to achieve thier ultimate goals in life. Do you want to hurt your teachers? Do you want to fail knowing that you can actually achieve your teachers expectation? Certainly not.

As I have mentioned earlier, we are nothing without our teachers. And for every sacrifices, hope and faith that are given or rather shared to us by our loving teachers, it is only right for us to show our full gratification. It’s true that the sacrifices made by our teachers can never be compared as what they have done effects not only us,but future generations as well.

So, we as students, it is not enough saying “terima kasih cikgu” everyday after classes end. We are forced to that out of formality. It’s not out of generosity.

The best way for us to say thank you is by replying to our teacher’s commitment. It is not merely by the words, but by how we respond through our actions. We should listen and obey them, and learn not only what knowledge they have to offer, but what wisdom they intend to give us. For teachers’ main duty is to educate us to become someone who will make them and the nation proud.

Therefore, as a representative of all the students of SMK Kidurong, I would like to take this priceless oppurtunity to extend our full gratitude to all the teachers and to wish all a Happy Teacher’s Day. May this celebration be a memorable one. Thank you.

Knowledge is indeed a painful weapon.

We are constantly searching for knowledge. Looking for greater wisdom. Prestigious intellect that will grant us power to influence, decide and act accordingly without having second thoughts.

But how far can we gain knowledge? Isn't there a certain limit to everything we do? How much can we input into ourselves before it starts to hurt?

Surely, everything we do if exceeding the limit of our capabilities, will start afflicting in one way or another.

We must always prepare ourselves to accept new knowledge, wisdom, understanding, opinions and ideas because they can come in any form and we are powerless to defend against it.

Sometimes, the new things we know can hurt us deeply.

Curiosity drives us wild. We desire to know everything we can grab hold on. At times, the more we know, the more it hurts. The more we know, the more burden we have to bear because people will look up to you and often expect something intellectual from you. And if you can't deliver, it hurts both you and the other party.

Curiosity kills the cat and it can kill us too. Boy hangs self because he found out his girlfriend is having another affair, friendship is shaky because we found a dark secret about him or her, knowing what is unhealthy leaves us more conscious and less free to do things. Knowledge is power, but it impedes from us from doing so many things. At what cause?

Embrace and prepare ourselves everyday. We can't predict what new things will we find out. At times, there are good news, and sometimes they are bad.

Nevertheless, know what is right and wrong for it will leave us to a better and more interesting life. Don't let it afflict our minds, body and soul but turn the bad tide the other way round.

Have a nice day.

There's an utter beauty way up high..

ScienceDaily (May 18, 2010) — After billions of years of twinkling and shining, some stars in the heavens appear to "dance" as they wind down. Maybe not like Elvis or Michael Jackson, but they definitely have a rhythmic beat, and some may even spin like a top.

Funny how time flies..

You wake up as the sun ray forces open your eye lids to hit the 'play' button of your day and you expect rainbows to colour your day. Sit down on your bed, couch or on the floor - depending on whether you were sent home after getting wasted the night before - , and ask yourself "What I have done yesterday, would I hit 'replay' today?"

And you list down the things you want to do, but because you're too lazy to get up and reach out for a pen and paper, you list it down in your mind, ignoring the fact that you'll forget what you thought within the hour hand.

And the next thing you know, you're late for school or work.

So you force yourself to get up, hoping that moving away from you 'sleep zone' is not as hard as opening your eye lids. Of course! How could you not when you need to rush and catch up with time?

Heed that my intention is not giving the wrong idea. I'm not implying that if you skip brushing off the chicken stuck between your teeth or forgetting about flushing the toilet after your business will allow time to stop, have a cup of espresso and wait up for you while reading tomorrow's papers.

But when you're supposedly late for something, you tend to try to defy all odds and believe that you could actually catch up with time when you're actually doing is scraping off your time. It's like chasing the breath of a dragon with a fish net. Never going to happen.

When people believe they managed to beat time actually means they mange to beat their own time, not?

You arrive just in time. Why? You pass the red light and skip zipping up your fly.

Time flies. And it flies without mercy. It'll not turn back like a waiter who reinquires your order.

Life is recorded, but somehow the 'replay' button doesn't seem to appear anywhere in life.

Just let it be. It's as simple as that. Time is not a complex matter. We're making it intricate just tom grant us an intellectual superiority when actually you're just a blind mice leading thousands of potential leaders who can see clearly but sight impeded by the complication you so called superiors cause.

Live life and enjoy every second of it. The future is uncertain as how long we are going to live.

Try not to be late and support the thought in your mind that you could actually play a game of catch with time.

Don't attempt to stretch time, cause if you do, time won't be the want that breaks, something else will, and that is our life.

I know time flies. Inevitably. And there's nothing we can do about it but to just sit down, relax, execute our responsiblities and live life the way we want it.

That way, time would fly faster, but at least we have the assurance that we used it well. Wouldn't that mean a lot?

I best sum things up by the words of a true genius.

"When you sit with a nice girl for two hours, it seems like two minutes. When you sit on a hot stove for two minutes, it seems like two hours that's relativity." -- Albert Einstein

Desperate times call for desperate measures

When you have prepared yourself - attending full dress rehearsals, scrutanising your past mistakes, practiced the best techniques and sharpened your forte -, you ought to possess the confidence of Cassius Clay.

But nah. Not only do we deliberately ignore the fact that we are capable of achieving higher standards, we let our fear run us down like a road roller. Yes, they are many factors to consider in the process of realising your goals - finance, peer pressure, health, relationships, and shyness - , but why do we have to be constantly terrified of doing something we want to do. What makes us so conscious of other people's opinions? A lion wouldn't stop devouring your thighs even when you hold out your hand and demand it to stop.

Yet when we put ourselves in interestingly difficult situations, where only then can we find our 'inner potential'. Knowledge you never thought you know are actually spilling everywhere like a amateur waiter carrying a bowl of soup filled to the brim with tremour hands.

My point is, why let us be run down by fears? Why can't we let it be the driving force for us to succeed?  Let fear be the fuel to run our engines. We decide on options as we have the right to choose.

Of course, by human nature, we won't want to experience fear or even learn about it cause we are scared about it. Therefore, when we are bogged down by terrifying events or frightening experiences or have a bad sense of premonition, we would not know what to do but to cling onto the wind trying to calm ourselves by reciting a mantra found through Google.

Learn our fears. Embrace them as it is a part of us. Having fear is as natural as breathing. It will come no matter how hard you try to run away from it. Fear is like light, you can never go faster than it. Mix it with strength and determination and you're on your way to reach higher than the top.

But sometimes, we let our fear run us down cause we are just lazy to overcome it. No problem with that. Fear is what keeps us alive too right?

Why go against the usual?

The mind catches what the eyes see,

Yet comprehending to what laid upon our sight is not easy,

For the illusion of our mind twirls the fabric of facts,

That made us question on how true is life?

We march forward yet our pasts shape our present,

Would not history to sew our future together?

I contemplate on the meaning on what it means to be golden,

To shine like the glistering rays of the heaven,

Where all be astounded by its sheer beauty,

But could never actually keep the light in their pockets.

How saddened am I by the poignant truth,

That we disguise ourselves to impress,

That it's been the tradition to lie so as to awe others,

And unfortunately I'm tied down to this trend,

For being different means we are outcasts.

The media.

Hello, people of Facebook and Wordpress and all over the globe. Thanks for dropping by.

Can anybody offer me rational tips on how to blog?

I think I've been too engrossed with nothing.

"Rex, what are you thinking?"
"Nothing. Today is so hot even my bed is sweating. I'm thinking of how to sleep in a sweaty bed!?"

I snooped around StarOnline today and I'm fired with an endless barrage of bullets carrying news regarding adultery, violence or any immoral acts or suicide. And they are the most viewed piece of news.


Something is not right here now is it? I heard a lecture before given by some famous dude and he mentioned that we should not read the papers in the morning cause it might distort our "I feel good, fresh air's good" feeling. Bad news would only ruin our 'good vibe' for the day. Initially, I had to disagree with a statement like that, cause lunch breaks with the boys at work would be less of the expected social norm if you talked about yesterday's news.

"Wow! Yesterday's newspaper/news were all great! I can't wait to find out what happened yesterday in today's newspaper when I read it before bed tonight!"

It's no wonder results for the election are always at night.

Still. What if bad news was present? Would it not distort our sleep? Or maybe his philosophy was "He'll sleep it through".

Anyway, we got to learn to balance from what's right and what's wrong. What the news have to tell us, it should help us the world at a whole different perspective. Is it not a social problem when these kind of news gets the most attention and yet, nothing is physically done to overcome it?

The mind's of many is just too enclosed. It's a severe damage that not many will stretch out their hands in case they too get the dirt on their bleached clothing.

I'm frightened. What will the future be?

So are your parents coming tomorrow?

Tomorrow is "Hari Permuafakatan". It's an event anticipated by a minimum number of people, whereby eager parents are going to have a meeting with ebullient teachers to discuss about their children's/students' performance in school. It covers a scope far more than just academic though. Matters discussed include students discipline, performance in school work, involvement in class or school activities, social skills and so forth.

But we all know the one that tops the list is the red ink in the students report card. A+ marks the end of the rainbow. F marks the other end.

Students are often terrified to introduce their parents to their teachers. Well who won't? Especially when there are many dark secrets to be unveiled.

"Anak puan ini selalu hisap rokok sewaktu saya mengajar"
"Rex ni seorang pelajar yang malas. Dia selalu tidak hantar kerja rumah walaupun dia sudah siap."
"Your son is an imbecile."
"Anak awak sangat bodoh macam bapa dia."

It's comments like these that makes students sleep naked with their hair wet in a air conditioned room of lowest temperature to make them sniff gooey flu the next day.

"Rex, let's go see your teacher."
"But I'm not suppose to go to school when I'm sick and tired"

Blah. Just face the music. Bad is bad. Good is good. What done is done.
I ain't proud of what I've achieved nor will my parents. Nor do my teachers who I'm in full gratitude of.

Anyway, tomorrow's the day. I'll sit between my parents, facing my teacher and say "Cikgu, kita kan kawan?"

Violence is taking over school

Students are getting more rebellious if we are aware of the news surrounding our nation. Children are the voices of tomorrow, and teacher is the essential element that help polish their voices. It's either they end up singing in an orchestra or standing way back in choral speaking, or probably remain as the person who talks crap loudly in coffee shops.

Yesterday, I posted a news regarding a girl being beaten up by students for giving in to their financial demands. And mentioned that these occurrences happen quite often.

Today, I'm going to treat you with another piece of news acquired from TheStar Online. This particular student is slightly more valour in his actions than yesterday's Geng Kapak.

Teacher hurt after attack by student

KULIM: A disciplinary teacher sustained eight stitches on his head after a pupil threw a plastic table at him.

The 38-year-old teacher was talking to the newly elected committee members of the Mathe-matics and Science Association when the incident occurred at 1pm on Wednesday.

Declining to be named, the teacher said he noticed a group of some 20 pupils behaving in an unruly manner in the school.

He said they broke several window panes while walking along the corridor.

“I warned them to stop making noise and told them to leave the place as they were disrupting my discussions with the pupils,” he told reporters at his house in Taman Sulaiman here.

He said the pupils left but came back again a short while later.

“I then took a cane and tried to chase them.

“At that time, another teacher who heard the commotion, came in and asked the pupils to leave,” he said.

He said the pupils returned and started to disrupt the meeting again and one of them threw a plastic table which hit his head, causing him to fall down.

Other teachers then rushed him to the Kulim Hospital where he was given outpatient treatment.

Kulim OCPD Supt Ghuzlan Salleh said the teacher lodged a police report after the incident.

He said some of the pupils would be picked up soon to facilitate investigations.

He actually threw a table towards the teacher. It's hard to picture a table being hurdled towards a teacher by a student and knock him down senseless, with an epic ending of six stitches.

Violence is taking over school.

Don't kill me, I have an axe in my name!

Hello good people of wordpress and around the globe. I have ceased myself from abstaining from blogging. I have risen from the dead and now I'm a wondering spirit that's pretty much alive in any sense. Or I could be mortally alive in a another universe, a fact based on quantum theory. (Schrodinger's cat).

So as to celebrate the come back, let me entertain you with this great piece of news from TheStar Online. (Kinda long)

Classmates beat up student

PEKAN: A Form Three student who was constantly assaulted by a group of classmates who wanted money was hit with a chair and punched by them after she finally reported the matter to the principal.

The SMK Dato Mahmud Mat student said four of her male classmates, who called themselves “Geng Kapak” (Axe Gang), confronted her in class about 1pm on Tuesday, hitting her with a chair and landing blows on her face and body.

The battering, which took place in full view of other students, happened after the principal went to the classroom to look for the boys who were not in at that time.

Pekan OCPD Supt Yahya Othman confirmed that a report had been made on the assault, adding that the case was being investigated under Section 323 of the Penal Code for causing grievous hurt.

A police patrol car was seen parked at the school compound at 11.15am yesterday.

The girl’s parents were in school to meet the principal over the attack.

Speaking to reporters at her home in Kampung Pulau Serai, the victim said she had been bullied by the four almost on a daily basis since Feb-ruary.

‘’They would ask for money, and wanted RM1 or at least 50 sen. They would even go to the extent of doing a body search on me,” she said.

“At times, I had to hide my lunch money in my shoes,” said the girl, who was transferred to the school early this year.

She added that there were times when the boys would hit her and knock her head against the wall for no reason, threatening her with knives and broken glass.

“They were not afraid of anyone,” she said, adding, that there were other students who were also victims of the four.

The girl, who was given three days’ medical leave, said she was traumatised by the assaults and was afraid to return to school.

According to the mother, her daughter had been complaining to her about the incessant bullying each time she returned from school.

‘’I advised her to report the matter to the school management and let them take care of the matter.

However, things appeared to be serious when she returned home on Tuesday with her face all flushed. She could not even walk properly,’’ said the mother, who added that she was shocked to learn that her daughter had been hit with a chair and punched by the boys.

The mother said a police report was lodged about 3.30pm on Tuesday

I know this is a serious matter, but honestly, I could not help but burst out laughing at the name of the gang. Geng Kapak! Hahahahahaha!

Paul : Jenny, ada 50 sen ka? Mok beli susu. Ada seringgit jak tok.

Jenny : Dah ku padah banyak kali bah, Paul. Ku sikda duit pecah.

*tumbuk terus*

But this problem seems to occur frighteningly often, either in a small scale or a large scale. Students would demand money or any other suitable items from other students because they are Geng Kapak. Which generally means they can do anything they want. I probably need to consider forming a gang myself, and earn some formidable respect from my peers. I could give names like Geng Dadah, Geng Peransang, Geng Modes, or maybe Geng Ngajat.

I could just ruin a perfect day in a second. Smash the class' door, slam my fist on the table and while bearing the pain and shame of it all, I scream at the top of my voice to cover up my embarrassment. Shouting words that are undecipherable because there is actually no need for me to raise my voice in the first place. This often happen during girls' fights. They would scream at each other screaming words like "You look like a grandma with no kids! Nobody will marry you!" or "Your face looks like the mirror! Ugly". Nonsense.

Anyway, I pity the girl. Hope she'll recover soon. My advice to her is to form her own Gang. Axe Gang.

Be cautious.

News items on page 2 (Home section) of today's Borneo Post :

• Suspected latex robbery gang leader remanded


• Three in family die in crash


• SMK Agama Miri struck by second fire incident


• Come home Liza, hubby appeals


• Two friends killed when bike rammed from behind


• Break-in : RM100,000 in cash and valuables gone


• Road accidents claims three lives


• Newborn found abandoned at rubbish dump


• Sarawak soldier killed in road crash


• Indonesian siblings killed in road accident in Klang


• and "a picture of a car in a ditch"

Probably by now you get what I'm trying to say. We are bombarded with news piece that is pertinent to death. It's as if the whole page was written by the Grim Reaper himself. But I believe he could have done better at writing. However, the message is set.

People's lives are claimed daily. If they are not lost, they are abandoned.

But the road has taken many lives. Innocent, guilty, Sarawakian, Indonesian,  a soldier or Hannah Montana, it doesn't matter. All that we know is the victims are those who are not aware that they are going to leave this world early. May their souls not appear on the road in the middle of the night playing Poker with the other lost souls to claim more lives.

Drive carefully people. You have three mirrors in your car. Use them wisely. You have an indicator to well.. indicate. |:. Use it. It's saddening to see such devastating news furnishing the papers.

Apa mahu buat ini cuti?

Five days into the holiday and could you pull out of my misery? You go to the park and you see the same old faces. Lighting a cheap cigarette to be shared with 6 men, screaming to the same girl who jogs by everyday and replaying the same old lame jokes told by a 'friend' of theirs 2 years ago.

It does not impact me that much this holiday thing.

"Macam mana holiday kamu, Rex? Mesti hebat kan?"
"Sudah mula ka cuti, cikgu?"

I mean. What's school holiday for? A break away from the teachers' nuisance? A run away from schoolwork? Avoid getting questioned by your parents?

"How's your day at school son?"
"The same like the other days"

OR LIKE NOW

"How's your holiday, son"
"Like any other holidays"

Some say that we can get away from teachers during school breaks, and outside of school, they are just normal passerby. But no. We are obliged to greet them, even if they are eating, picking a fruit or stopping at a red light. We are bound to not look away and warm them with a smile and a forced wave. Even when they are busy handling an important conversation.

"Hi cikgu!!"
"Oh hello, Rex. Sori aa. Cikgu busy sekarang."
"Oh. Tidak apa cikgu! Asal saya ada ucap! Pagi tadi ada cikgu marah kami pelajar tidak berucap. Saya kena rotan dua belas kali. Jadi saya akan diri sini saja la. Takut saya kena rotan lagu. Harap cikgu faham, k? Cuti sekolah pun cikgu tetap cikgu kan?"

I'm not really sure what break we get. Homework still comes in a bundle. Oh. My mistakes. Comes in bundles. You could weigh them, you know, and I assure you it'll be heavier than a schoolbag with every text book inside. Like the ones, a naive boy would bring on their first week of school.

"Rex, besar betul beg kamu ini!?"
"Kenapa cikgu? Bukan biasa ka?"
"Apuuu.! Apa kamu bawa? Ini luar biasa la!"
"Buku teks la cikgu. Saya bawa semua."
"Huh? Kenapa pula?"
"Kalau saya ada terlupa bawa nanti, cikgu marah saya kata "Tikus baca buku kam ka!?"
"Owh."

But really. Homework. It's not a complaint. It's a mere cry of distress. There's a difference. But things like this can happen you know :

"Have you finished your holiday homework, Rex?"
"Which holiday, miss?"
*Smack in the head*

Anyway, we just have to make use of this holiday. Mine's going great so far. So to speak.

It'll be the same again.. (Poem)

Bruised, battered and diseased by ominous plague,

I was bludgeoned using the forte of the sword,

And my body was left sprawling in defeat,

Where passerby looked on with utter disgust.

 

 

So many theories, so many stories, but none of them convinced me.

Today, all credence turned brittle and an affable blow forced it to crumble. Why did I not invade my mind and divert my thoughts? Was I too attached to something that's evanescing?

It was you that ignited my hope, yet it was you who doused the flame.

And the decibel in which you propagated your tune, stirred my inner soul to a circumference larger than my humility. Thus, all hell broke lose, and behind those white lies, I could actually hear you smile.

As an open minded person sees it..

*Seen on an exam sheet*

Q2. The highest number of road accidents recorded is on Tuesday.
A. True
B. False
C. Not stated

Q3. Monday depicts a higher number of road accidents in Miri as compared to Bintulu.

A. True

B. False

C. Not stated

Q4. Both Saturday and Sunday records the same number of road accidents.

A. True

B. False

C. Not stated America

Matlamat tu penting..

Outcomes of today :

• Academic writing and creative writing are two different things. One requires you to justify your own personal opinions with your own infuriated words while the other condemns you to justify other people's opinions using their judgmental words by using your own words.


• When you're placed in a rank higher than many others, you're bound to lead. You're bound to lead an example or prepare the proper pathway for your inferiors. Not treat them like they're not to be in your league and speak of nonsensical stuffs that bring no form benefits. There's one in my school. A person who stands up front totally unprepared - except for asinine presentations -. Sorry, but this 'superior' is making an utter fool of himself.


• Another term for boyfriend is manfriend. "Is it that is your the manfriend?"


• My Bahasa Malaysia is not as bad as I thought. I did "kinda" well for a paper I lost 30 minutes from its given time.

Gone..

Turning the peg to lower the tension,

So the wave propagated may be of utter melancholy,

To vibrate the air with an intention,

That the sound is meant to be heard by only me.

I feel perturbed by playing these games,

Not because of lost or have I ended a draw,

But when I drew the outlines of my blames,

Those around would flee in distinguished awe.

I expected something of no possibilities,

It's funny I succumb to this asinine certitude,

Why did I choose her to accept my pities?

Maybe the world has crushed my fortitude.

Shower me with your majestic brilliance.. Only then will I turn back..

Parai lagik kami tok wai. Apuuuu...

4th day of exam. How? Like what we use to tell our parents when they ask "how's your day at school?" and we'll reply like our emotions are drained out "Just like any other day".

Yup. Today is just like any other exam day. This week's Thursday is in parallel with the week's Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday. Smeared with pig's crap.

The reason for this is that all have not been right. Things don't always go our way. Damn right they don't. The world's a cruel place. Damn right it is. *Just went all seems to crumble shall I utter in this manner*.

"Rex a. Kenapa ini kosong? Saya sudah suruh hafal bukan!?"
"Ada. Tapi, mana la saya tahu ini keluar cikgu."
"Jadi kenapa la saya suruh hafal?"
"Kerja cikgu memang arahkan kami"
*tampar guna buku*

I mean. I've gone through this phase for the last 3 days and one may have thought the 4th day? Well, kinda laid back and used to being bewildered and acting up like the questions are taken from the pages of a long lost mythical book.

"State Raoult's law."
"Raoult's law states that for every question asked in this paper, it seems that Rex have never came across with it"
*rotan burit*

You know what, readers? I figured that maybe if I brought my IC along, eluding myself from the 30 mins penalty, I would have more time to figure out the answers. But no. All I've gotten was extra 30 mins of wondering what would happen if I used different pens for my answers.

"What does "You're gonna fail miserably in line 37 mean""?
"Hmm.. Let's see.. Should I use my mechanical pencil or the wooden one? Or maybe a black pen would be nice? But highlighter would make it look more presentable"
*15 minutes/question*

How can I go on like this? People would look at my results like I'm about to pull komodo dragon out from my socks.

"Rex, pastikan kamu dapat 4 flat"
"4 flat macam dada saya cikgu?"
*tamaparan naga*

I scrutunised every question. Pressuring my memory, in trying to recall what I've studied and what I was taught. Yet, it was to no avail. The best part is, I couldn't recall what I've 'memorised' 5 minutes before the exams begun.

"Come on, Rex. You just read it a while ago. Think. Think. Recall!"
"Sorry la. Now I've forgotten that I've actually read this just now"

I know I'll be fired with barrage of questions in due time. Mysterious questions. Similar to the ones about the Bermuda Triangle or UFO.

"Rex, kenapa kamu masih tak boleh jawab. Cikgu risau la"
"Saya pun risau la, cikgu. Memang tidak boleh jawab."
"Kenapa. Apa masalah kamu sebenarnya? Tak cukup masa belajar ka?"
"Cikgu rasa?"
"Kamu la yang jawab sendiri.!! Sudah Tingkatan Enam kamu!! Bukan budak lagi!!"
"Hmm.. Ini memang pelik la cikgu.. Kenapa oo.. Hmm.. Nak sama-sama buat research cikgu?"
*tamparan singa*

Even my MUET. I finished way ahead of the time constraint. I'm not over-confident. Is just that, let's say, if you're given an hour to finish eating a bowl of plain soup. Would you make full use of that hour? Waiting for to cool down? Lick the soup till it's dry? Leave it under the sun to evaporate? Surely, you'll finish and do nothing waiting for the time to finish.

"Kenapa awal betul habis Rex? Terlalu senang kha?"
"Bukan cikgu. Masa bagi terlalu lama. Kalau bagi soalan Physics Form 6 dengan pelajar darjah Enam. Mereka siap dalam 15 minit. Senang ka maksud dia cikgu?"
*tumbukan beruang*

Anyway, it's late. Tomorrow is the usual. Exam day. End result would be the same. I'll probably be more ready than ever by then.

Till later. Goodnight.

Today..

I loaned from the ghost with no collateral,
At least that's the impression 'it' gave me,
Before my superior desecrated my stalwart trust!
Flipped through the cells that's gullible a while,
In laying the cards and gave a good poker face.
Yet, who is it I'm deceiving?
The man in the mirror or my superior?
The commenced is like water under the bridge.
But even the marine creatures survived better,
And probably skipped through frivolous questions,
That impedes me from clambering this hill.
And again Mr.Shaw proved to be my form of justice,
Cause I've never learnt from the other side of the hourglass.
It was nihilty that appeared on the pages,
Grimaces of beasts that devoured not only my health,
But my fortitude as well.
And so, on muddy waters shall sink my foot into,
Cause pressure is inversely proportional to area,
I diminished myself just to hide from the outside.
Oh why do I cry out with long injustice words?

Did I not say hello to you? Oh wait.
You raised that wall.
Thus, I speak not only for myself, but just to myself as well.

Exactly like how you wanted..

Will we breath through the next sundown?

Another tomorrow I don't hope to witness,
Hands cling together, trusting it won't come,
Nor wanting it to succumb to time,
How I wish the day would just be numb.

Today's a gift so I shall begin to cherish,
Future's a mystery now isn't that foolish?
Why would we pray for a better tomorrow,
When all we receive is another sorrow?

Thus I shall call upon the help of the Almighty,
To hear my cry and my mournful plea,
Please end this poignant madness if you care!
Or could the witch help set my soul free?

*silence*

The nefarious laughter pierced through my senses,
As my body trembled and boiled around the torridness.
Upon my sight stood a dark beast in a black robe,
Holding a scythe that seems to imbibe me to his darkness.

I caught its gaze that soon ignited a thought in mind,
That all around me was the fire of affliction,
With painful cries devoured by blazing eternal fire,
Is this a dream or a revelation?

Then the beast in the black robe,
Portrayed it's horrid face to me like a blunt arrow,
And whispered in a voice that shattered all luminaries,
"Welcome my child. Here, there's no tomorrow"

It's difficult to know what's different..

What's it to you,

When someone says she's at a distance?

Can you touch her?

Can you sense her distinctive scent?

Can you hear her breathe?

Can you even see her?

Catch a glimpse of her shadow? Silhouette maybe?

Or do you just feel her heartbeat in yours?

If that is "a distance",

So they say,

Then we're not so far apart after all..

Oh, there you are...

A little white lie told by the black sheep of the family. Irony.

It's a close call but today's been a day brighter than any. Yeah. Any. Some might get that pun. :D

Anyway, my Ingenious Card was brought along this morning. *Cheers for me!* Thus, it was not my duty to displace myself with my fellow peers and stand outside the classroom, though my yesterday's post was a hint of doing otherwise.

But then again, like what the first line was suppose to imply - that today was all shine - , maybe  in the evening, but the after the crack of dawn? Hell hatched.

I was hoping for a better future yesterday, and what can I say? Mother nature has it's way to play with me.

I didn't do well. It's a proven theory.

"Kenapa kamu hantar kertas jawapan yang kosong!?"
"Ujian sudah mula ka cikgu??"

Maths was bad. Now, I don't intend to plague disappointment, but I did try my best.

"Rex, kamu buat betul-betul ka tidak ini?"
"Ya cikgu. Betul-betul tidak tahu. Apa boleh buat la?"
*tampar*

I seriously put on my best gear though. Unfortunately, it's a bit on the rough edge my mathematical skills today. Newtonian ATPs are not functioning properly.

"By using definitions, prove the following sets.........."
*blank answer sheet*

I used a lot of full-scape papers today. However, I've wasted them by handing it a null sheet.

Chem was another victim. Objective questions - just so you thought - gives you a better chance a hitting a target blindfolded? Wrong. Even with my eyes focusing on the bull's eye, I find it real hard to fire at will and hit the target. Pretty much like taking a picture with a SLR camera with len's cap still intake. Snapping darkness.

"Haiya! Ini bukan sudah cikgu kata akan keluar ka? Kenapa masih tak pandai buat!!?"
"Kan cikgu suruh hafal formula, mana ada saya pandai apply."
*tampar*

I'm sorry teachers. I shouldn't be blogging now, yet I'm still here. But I just want you to know that I've put my effort into it and if it goes unappreciated, there's no need for me to find reasons to understand why.

Second day of exam just didn't go better than the first. What will the 3rd day bring forth?

"Ini, kenapa ini punya ini tidak exam ini?

It shocked my outer soul to see an introvert reflection of myself. The times that crept underneath me, made me believe that all I know to be boisterous and exuberant at any extravagant act.

By breaking the social norm do I find freedom. Such are the twisted and wicked words uttered by an ingenious friend of mine, whose ingenuity could not come close to those of a crustacean. Foolish I tell you. To misinterpret what bond friendship has. However, that's a compliment which only put a Joker smile on his self proclaimed "chick magnet, charming" face. A grimace for me.

Anyhow, exams just begun. Today's day one. "How did it go?" is the cliche' question asked. "So, were you able to do it?" is a rather more caring question. My went well, except for the first half an hour. A penalty I deserve for not bringing my Ingenious Card along. But fortunately, time was my companion at it helped to finish my task professionally lousy. However, my essay was kind of satisfying for me. Though my teacher may have a contradicting opinion.

I hope history does not repeat itself as soon as the play button of tomorrow is pushed by the Big Man.

"Esok jangan lupak bawa IC kamu aa."

I had 30 minutes of fun. Watching students with fearful face and teary eyes, begging for their IC to pop out of the fishes mouth in the school lobby.

"Oh ikan. Berikanlah aku IC ku"

I had teachers asking questions of high curiosity but of low understanding.

"Eh Rex. Kamu pun tak bawa IC? Hahahahahahaha. Nyaman? Esok jangan bawa lagi."

I got to read Dewan Masyarakat and I read an article regarding the degradation of the status of teachers in Malaysia. It states that :

"Gaji guru terlalu sedikit. Kerja banyak, duit dapat sikit" - Sama kes dengan pelajar. Salah dalam ujian banyak, markah sedikit. Karma.

You see. 30 minutes penalty wasn't so bad after all. Foolishly, I plan to repeat it tomorrow, but I'm afraid that'll only effect a whole lot of people who will tunnel into everyone's business. So I might as well stick to the teachers' plans. :)

Anyway, to all who's sitting for their exams now. All the best. Like what my teachers told me

"Jawab saja apa yang kamu tahu. Yang tidak pandai itu, tulis saja apa-apa. Belum pasti tahu ada markah itu"

So you just write what you know and what you don't know, you are bound to write something too.

Q : Siapakah Perdana Menteri Malaysia yang pertama? (10m)
A : Bapa saya kata dia kawan datuk saya dan nama panggilan dia ialah Ah Meng.

And here's a great tip. Stop facebooking in this brief period of time.

"Kenapa masih main Farmville ini? Ujian mathematics suruh kamu harvest kha?"

Goodnight readers. Bring your IC. Or this will happen :

"Kenapa tak masuk kelas lagi ini? Tak bawak IC ka?"
"Ya cikgu!"
"Bodo punya pelajar!"
"Ya anda betul!"
*tumbuk terus selama 30 minit*

What we have on our wrists is not really ours..

Climbing down the ladder is not what they do,

Nor will them inject humility in their vessels,

For they are up high above my tiny soul,

All I could do is listen to their trembling roars.

No. It's preposterous for them to be on par,

With beings like me who seem to have no sense of life,

Just a dust under the table, a bone in a fish,

I'll be wiped cause all I do is choke their breath.

Am I that defiled? Need I live in destitute?

I was clambering to seek pardon from them,

But I was tossed with a coin that has no sides,

And instructed to decide on a game chance.

Yes, I was raised..

Yes, I was taught..

Yes, I witnessed the struggle..

Yes, I was provided..

But what was not given is what won't turn back for anyone..

Time...

Unforgettable Alzheimer's..

Flicker, flicker and flicker those lights,

Conjunctively similar to the strobing hopes I held,

In the one whom I've fallen for.

I want to spread my wings and flap,

To shake of the dust of regrets,

To capture better moments to cling to.

When hope shall falter not shall I,

Cause those around me strengthens my barricade,

Of good will and altruism that deserves no human judgement.

How can I express my gratitude I questioned,

Not by actions of the limbs nor words of the mouth,

But all I can do is propogate my heart's gratification.

Thanks, for the memories..

Patheticsm.. A new religion for father figures!

MALACCA: A woman who became enraged after being slapped by her husband stabbed him in the chest during a fight at their home here last week.

The incident happened last Wednesday night when the 39-year-old woman returned home with her nine-year-old son to find her tipsy husband chatting with a neighbour.

An argument ensued between the couple, and the 41-year-old man slapped his wife after questioning her about her earlier whereabouts.

Incensed after being verbally and physically abused, the woman stabbed her husband twice in the chest with a kitchen knife.

The man was later rushed to the hospital and is currently warded in the Malacca Hospital’s intensive care unit.

Melaka Tengah Police District CID chief DSP Gan Chip Poh confirmed that a woman had been detained following the incident, but refused to divulge details owing to ongoing investigations.

Ricky : Aaaaa.. Mana kamu dua pergi tadi tidak bawa sana? *masuk rumah selepas menampar jirannya*

Katrika : Saya tadi bermain tennis dengan anak kita, Danny. Lama sudah tidak memukul bola dengan kuat sampai kena kepala orang.. hihi.. lawak la tadi..

Ricky : Oh.. Senang cakap, kamu berdua pergi seronok tidak bawa saya la? Haa!!??

Katrika : Ya. hihi.

Danny : Kan bapa bodoh. haha. bapa bodoh dan lembap tak pandai main tennis macam Winnie The Pooh . Booo! Saya kobek bapa! hmmph!

Katrika : Hahaha. Saya pun mau ikut! Ricky!! Nah! *kobek*

Ricky : Saya marah! Ahhhh! Sini kamu Danny!

Danny : OK. Hihi.

Ricky : *slap!*

Danny : Haha. Bapa memang lembap dan bodo sekarang macam Barbie Doll mak.

Katrika : Sayang.. Kenapa lemah sangat ini? Cuba tampar saya dulu, lama sudah tidak rasa kelemahan sayang.Ricky bodoh. hihi..

Ricky : *hard slap!*

Katrika : Danny! Betul kata awak. Lebih teruk dari Barbie Doll mak la.. Macam Tiong Man.

Danny : High 5 mak! *high 5*. Bapak bodoh.. hihi..

Katrika : Ricky, Ricky.. Patutla anak kita tidak respect awak.. Lemah betul.. Cuba pakai pisau ok? Mari saya ambil.. Nah. Saya ajar sayang ok..?

Danny : Yay mak! Cucuk bapak sampai dia nangis! hihi..

Ricky : OK.

*stab stab stab stab stab stab stab stab stab stab stab stab stab stab stab stab stab*

It was the son's fault.

HAVE A NICE DAY!

Oh, the wonders..

I grew weary of my conscience,

Deceived by my ingenuity,

I shall not beg for nonsense,

For I'm shrouded with iniquities..

Yet her eyes still displayed,

The stone she carved,

With the words written,

So pure,

So gentle,

But it's all a breeze now..

New Year flourished with love.

Ahh.. The smell of a new year is in the air. At least, where I'm at with my family busying themselves mending the red carpet preparing a grand entrance for the Year of The Tiger. Fresh paint and fruit cakes.

Is it merely a concidence that this special occasion falls on Valentine's day?

It's the holidays and everyone is hustling and bustling around to buy gifts, tidbits, cooking and probably doing some last minute furnishing. Everyone's busy with their responsibilities today, but when it comes to family gatherings/occasions, there just seem to be enough time to prepare everything. And the satisfaction of it all adds in the joy.

Nevertheless, love's scudding in the air, into the nostrils of every love bird. Though, there are people who feel they are unfortunate during this day of romance cause they are alone. Not to worry, there are millions around the world who feels the same. Plus, it's the new year! Season of  joy! You should get out and steal oranges and fill your pockets with red packets. I'll bet your day won't be as dull as the years before if, we as Malaysians, join in the festivity. Attack every house available with a sack of empty stomach.

Lion dance excites me. And all the cacophonies are miraculously real music to my ears. And red, the colour of good fortune and prosperity, enlightens the atmosphere.

Watch the fireworks and you'll realise that there many others who are watching it with you. God bless your day and Happy Chinese New Year to all and to every love birds, keep the love strong and have a memorable Valentine's Day!

Wishes.

Happy Birthday Pornshua!

19 years of life, 7 years of friendship defiled. not bad.

Melody tunes the air..

Mother nature stirred a rush of debilitating wave,

All boisterous occasions contracted itself,

Almost to nulling into the abyss,

Imbibing all jubilant hearts along.

But a melody filled the air,

Though not to a level of expectancy,

It somehow vacuumed the torridness,

And clothed a smile in the air.

It made it a little clearer,

That many times in life,

We forgot the pleasures we ought to experience..

The sun shone brighter and it seemed cooler just then..

It was a false hope..

Only the affliction bore was for a moment,

At present all had change for I utter,

When I propogate my problems,

All she does is just mutter.

Though this I feel sorrow,

Like gravity tugging me down,

She still didn't reach out,

And left me searching for her crown..

It's not that simple..

All my gears are worked up,

Agitating me,

Feeling perturbed and dumbfounded,

Cause this frivolous task I have done,

Without much concern the pages are folded.

They say the night is young,

But my spirit is aging,

It falls along with grains of time,

Onto my bed of which I'm lying..

Tomorrow's a another day..

It's just what we have to go through..

I sit here in this abject room,

And watched my statistical deduction.

All burst of cacophonies died down,

When the atmosphere too was killed.

The light dimmed, yet enough for us to listen.

The heatwave discharge by the bodies,

By those who by now are now wilting.

It was and is only by will,

To stay upright and focused.

Still the mind decided to sway into euphoria.

But the room's too abject.

The ambiance is too pathetic.

So here I choose to write,

The disappointment of heart..

It's just too dull and hot..

You want to go Lion Dance or Candlelight Dinner, Honey?

[polldaddy poll=2670585]

Let us race. Who ever overcomes the sounds barrier wins.

At least readers of TheStarOnline have some sense in their coconut head. It won't work. It's the speed that drives them nuts. That gives them the power. Rehabilitation won't work. Like the poll suggests, beyond rehabilitation.

It's all the desire of being cool and respected by peers. Peer pressure and influence. I read somewhere. It says something like this :

Although, family members may be the subjects that molds a child's behaviour, it is friends who impose who a greater influence in their character growth.

Sort of . I might have changed the structure. But you get what I mean. Your friend plays football, you join them, they play guitar, you start learning, they buy cigarettes, you smoke them. So when they bring a bike that sounds like 10 elephants farting, with a blistering speed 25 km/h, you'll get your own bike and start asking "How do you make that sound?".

Bedtime thinking..

The spirit of the heavens had died down,

Leaving the pastures in obscurity.

So in this night I lay my body,

On my bed,

With my mind playing the reminisces,

Of what our path had converged to.

It does pull the corner of my lips,

Not downwards, but upwards.

Cause all these images are so enlightening,

For it gives me a reason,

To get up and smile the next day..

Goodnight..

Who to be weighed down?

Be quick now!

Flee!

The sun dropped it's illumination in front of me,

And made myself eminent,

Among my disciples who are eager,

Enthusiastic in executing their objective,

Which is rather asinine.

It was an idea born in the minds,

Of those who rejected reasoning.

For they chose to only,

Satisfy their own thoughtless judgments.

Who shall bear the weight of their mistakes,

If not the inferior?

The next sunrise I shall see,

Not the light I hoped,

But the darkness bestowed,

Upon my so called misdemeanor.

The truth shall set you free...

Maaf kerana lambat tetapi selamat.

Oh yea. My best friend is having his finals today. Every nerve, muscle and thoughts that he bears are tingling with scintillation of terror and utter excitement. All converged to one reason. It's the finals. Badabing badaboom.

All the best, dom. Looking forward for your return to our treehouse.

What's the best?

Debilitated, all energy siphoned,

Into a river of which lies no barrier,

Cause it's cycle where it'll return.

Why our commander changed the outpost,

To evade from the enemy from the east,

Who's plan are formidable to foes of all.

For life is not about changes,

We are never truly susceptible,

Nor are we genuinely volatile,

To what cloaks over us.

We make ourselves believe that change,

Is often for the better,

Yet friendship has taught me that,

What's different is only gratifying for one,

And for that,

We have ourselves to blame.

I was never alone for without you am I with you..

A breeze whistles in the air,

Whispers a chill dat ignited my memory.

When I walked in the forest,

Created by the chants of mother nature

I recall all times when you and I

Climbed the ladder to meet the angel

That once brought us together

Whenever the moon was oblique

I wailed, I cried but none listened

For I was shoruded by the darkness

That's slowly imbibing my soul

Into oblivion where you once told me,

That my forefathers went and never come back.

For I ran and the sky cracked a drop

Of light that teared my eye,

For I no longer need to hide myself,

From the wretched world I had left behind.

Follow me, Rex..

Oh Why, Oh Why do you have to come back with him?

JOHOR BARU: A mother is finding it hard to forgive her daughter’s boyfriend although his family paid more than RM30,000 to secure her release from loan sharks.

Ooi Ah Jeow, 50, still held the boyfriend responsible for the mess her daughter, Teng Yee Lee, had gotten herself into.

Teng had gone gambling with her boyfriend, Chong Tze Kim, 30, and is believed to have incurred heavy losses after gambling there.

They were said to have borrowed money and the ah longs had taken two family cars as collateral.

“One of Chong’s parents then went to Kuala Lumpur to negotiate for the safe return of Teng and the release of the two cars by paying more than RM30,000,” said Johor Baru MCA Public Complaints Bureau deputy chief Michael Tay.

The 27-year-old was brought back to her home in Taman Tun Aminah here by Tay.

Ooi said she was relieved to have Teng back but she found it hard to forgive Chong.

On Jan 19, Teng had asked for the car keys on the pretext of servicing the vehicles for a trip to Penang.

Her mother later discovered that Teng had left home with the two vehicles and Chong.

******

Ahhh.. Ah long, ah long, ah long.. The story of the great money lender continues..

However, this story has some 'ambiguities' in it. The report says that it "is believed they have incurred heavy losses after gambling". Yeah, it is 'believed' that the world was created after the oh so majestic "Big Bang" and it is believed that I was raised by apes.  And also, the report saysthey were "said to have borrowed money and the ah longs had taken two cars as collateral". It is said too that Neil Armstrong ate durian on the moon and it is also said that there is Big Foot on a backpack holiday on Mars. "One of Chong's parents then went to Kuala Lumpur". One of my parents went to a women's conference and one of my parents went to the men's bathroom. Come on, don't know which one? Confidential maybe.

"She found it hard to forgive Chong". Poor dude, all the blame on him. Understood though. Own children are always innocent. Especially daughters.

However the last line of the report "Teng had left home with the two vehicles and Chong". I don't know, but it made me thought for a while that the daughter was the culprit here. Chong misdemenour was 'somehow' Teng's fault. "The robber escaped with RM1,000 in cash and a laptop" or "Husband had left home with Rm10,000 and a car".

But actually dear readers, the whole point of this news piece is not about the Ah Longs or the mess the two got into. Nobody cares about illegal loan sharks anymore. The title of the report says so :

Daughter's back at home but mum finds it hard to forgive

What's with today's news ? Oh, and you may stop laughing.

I know your problem but that's all I can do.

I feel I'm on a collision course with my alter ego. Sooner or later, one of us will be squashed and the other will prevail in life, laughing mockingly at my splatted self.

I'm still seeking for that little gap, even the smallest of all space, for me to be able to catch the tears of the sun that illuminates not only my path, but my acumen as well. Maths is surprisingly imposing a rather heavy resistance when it should enter my welcoming brain. Maybe I have neglected that Maths is something to be understood instead of just tossing a coin into the well and wish that the educator would stream their knowledge to you by staring back at you.

There was a kid this morning, a Form 4 student I suspect. You see, what makes him a highlight of my day is this. In his ragged clothes ( i might be over the fence here), came up to me and raised his index finger to me. A typical way for someone to ask a buck. Don't you have to be real pathetic to go ask all strangers for a dollar? Sadly, I ignored him because this happened twice, and my pocket was empty. These kind of people are like cats. Once you feed them, they'll come back meowing to you everytime they get their nasty claws on you. Sorry kiddo, wish I could help, but it was just out of my league.

Call me cruel, but that's the way the world rotates. Life's unfair. To earn something, you shall never resort to begging. Earn it with dignity. Sometimes, we would furnished ourselves from top to bottom, every nooks and crannies of ourselves with sorrow, empathy and sympathy and all somber crap, and that's just about it. We would complain about why are there people in poverty, we would stay up all night to watch people suffer on the news and that's about it. All our sorrows end there. Realise that now, eh? Ask yourself. Why do you bother in empathising in other people's  so called "pathetic" life? You might never know, they could be having the time of their life even with the little that they have. They could be having more fun throwing stones at pigeons and counting how many skies are there than you watching the same shows on TV everyday.

The problem is we like to know other people's problem so we feel good bout ourselves. It all actually comes down to our intentions of wanting to know it all. It is harsh, but lets face it, many of us are too engrossed with our own responsibilities that we can't attend other peoples' quandary. All we are able to do is just know about it. The sad reality.

Sometimes, we just got to scrap off all our idealistic hopes and just sit down and watch the news. Keep us updated with not happenings around the world, but complaints of other earthlings instead. Now, shouldn't we be helping ourselves first before we lend a helping hand?

Wipe away not the tears, but the eye wax. You're faking to be blind.

have a go after long abstinence from poetry. Here it goes :

Oh heart of madness shall I persevere,

So as to able myself observe the other side,

But the fire was doused before it succumbed,

To the treacherous wind so fierce.

Audible is my little thoughts,

So to my peers who realised,

That life is too simple to understand, and just by

Concluding with intricate decision making.

That's who we are actually,

Feeling superior by attaining advance intellect,

When the society lies and spit in your face,

But we're shrouded by a translucent barricade,

That seeks to impede only reality.

Thus,

We live in our idealistic world.

Peace out and goodnight.

Hope the acclamation would be perpetual. At least for this calendar.

I ain't saying I'm gonna clap my hands and do the Mexican wave with a million hippies for you guys who never showed up just now. But I ain't too dissapointed as well.

All I'm saying is that you guys made me proud to be what I am and enjoy what I do. As for the superior? Blah. You'll meet guys like that in near future. The type that doesn't really walk the talk. Instead he uses verbal abuse to get his way. Typical.

As for the proposals and presentation of ideas? Well. Not too shabby but needs more improvement so everyone would learn a thing or two. That's my objective.

Men and women with integrity gritted in their buttocks, you guys just lit my hope actually. I've shared my gratitude just now and I'm doing the same here. Thanks a bunch.

When Newton spoke of Physics, he could have meant the Physics of life. Everything is really connected.

There's always a first time for everything. Cliche. Clap2.

And as for this particular sundown, all this albatross accomplished to diminish myself till I stand with my pattelae, escalated me to a point close to sniveling.

Yeah. The world circulates perpetually, the universe is expanding perpetually, even apprehensions are perpetual. All my foreboding thoughts are unraveling before me. Yet, it still intrigues and bewilders me, for the first time, all the impediments closed into me, and all I could have done was lose control of all sensibility. Why? How?

Newton's First law of motion states that any body will continue moving at a constant velocity if there is no external force acting upon it.

He was right. No one stopped to comprehend for what I was given.

Newton's Second Law of motion states that for any body experiencing a force acting upon it, it experience an acceleration.

Bingo. I was only imputed with more frivolous act and therefore I'm going down at a faster rate.

Newton's Third Law of motion states that for any action done on a body, there's a reaction which has the same magnitude but acts in the opposite direction.

Head shot.  Whenever you think you only have one problem to solve, there's always another to attack you from behind.

It's no wonder I love phycis.. It's all bridged together with life..

1 + 1 = 2 hard.

Bang! and Boom! I myself have no intellect on my actions. These are moments when even the greatest quotes of quotes and wisdom among wisdom will you just crush them without even thinking to touch them. Like I said Bang and Boom with every might.

We often deny that we are never overpowered by animosity. Pfft. A second is always something. Even when you manage to suppress it, presence is there and that matters to oblique eyes.

I pass my judgments. I deciphered the somber ambiance. But mother nature still impedes me after all those scrutiny. It can't be frivolous can it? Yell cut id if it can.

I derived the equation. But the constants are abjectly susceptible to changes. So the final product? There's no answer.

Again I seek help.

Which is the right way?

Oh Lord the source of Divinity in life, I seek for your answers in which I can't decide myself. Help me make decisions and that I'll be adamant on them. Be stern only if they are the best choice. Outline every step for me as I have done for my peers. All source comes from you, thus the answers I seek can only be revealed by you.

Don't look too far ahead. You may overlook yourself.

It's impossible, exceeding the minimal level of trust for them to believe me. For I am debilitated from the barrage of bullets they fired on my exposed flesh. Bullet holes, only inch apart all over, yet they can't decipher the affliction I'm bearing. Doesn't the right belong solely to me for me to impute only partially on them?

Worrying you might not picture it, it's like this you see, I was fired with endless rampage and weights and the final solution is only myself. Can't blame to judiciary system cause they were all asleep in the courtroom. It may be understood as not being altruistic, but as I have mentioned in my earlier post, we only base our life on theories. On what other people believe. We find it tedious for us to prove it ourselves.

A great scientist once said "Never accept a mathematical formula only because others have proven. Derive it for yourself then you accept it."

Whenever life gives you lemon, you either make lemonade or you can decide to grow more lemons. By growing more lemons, you are therefore faced with two options again. To just keep growing or sell and make lemonades. How much patience can we grow in ourselves? Sadly however, that many foolishly decide to spend all they have earn in a day. The future is not for us to decide should we never consider it. But there's a solution. As too I have mentioned before in an earlier post, we should work on nature before it works on us.

Act. Don't just sit and read and complain. We sympathise but that's it. We criticise and that's it. Like dog chasing cars. Once they get it, they just don't know what to do.

Therefore, plan ahead. Think ahead a little without missing the little details of the present. Cause we never know that the solution could actually be the problem.

It's endurable as long as I could still catch sight..

Are these the cluttered moments of which the fairy spoke of?
Have I not trotted through this abject lane, would I have discovered the answer I'm searching.
But I was too stubborn. Skipping acceptance and remained stagnant at deception of my own soul.
How could I not deceive myself? It's absurd, beyond the level of reasoning.
So, why are all imputing it on me? For was my act deleterious to anyone's feelings that are so tender?
I once said this :
"To be in oblique state was my only intention. To scintillate was my objective. But to be a juggernaut? Never was the purpose."
I seek to enlighten. Not to attack the mind. But the conscience.
But myself I've damaged. And I've lost on what I need to cling.

Still keeping it going after so long...

A knock in the head does not strike our conscience, instead we will lose it.

Fill in the questionnaire. Step forward but it was empty. No questions. No answers. No ink. No lead on what to do.

A soldier in a battle expecting the enemy to attack from the south. When they surprise from the east, are we to ask why did they do that or do we find a way to defend?

I don't know. We complicate our thoughts just to make us feel superior.

We make ourselves feel better cause it's only ourselves that matter. No one else. Not even those we love.

I need a coconut to hit me hard and to hit everyone else.

It's highly unlikely that they see what I see.

I'm unsure on how long I can sustain bearing these encumbrances.  I was lavished with too much of these. How long must I withstand? This turbulence, like a professional throwing a boomerang, it keeps hitting me back, washing all my sense of reality off.

You use my rank as my Achilles' Heel. You know it'll crumble me. What a defile strategy, yet it succeeded yank me down with minute force. Pardon my iniquities. Pardon my misjudgments. Pardon my verdicts so unjust at times. For a Lord over you, I am not. I'm only like a orphan who is thrown into the city, and all I have to do is go with the flow to survive. I strive to live. To get the best I can. For many will adumbrate my virtue and leave me slandered.

And again I mention, you have threaten me with I have. Some possesses a rather euphoric hope in me. I'm ashamed yet gay.

Was never my intention to be one as of now. But Fate has chosen me. And for that, I shall execute my objectives diligently and as what my asinine superiors sort of condemned me to, "be professional". If only they know what they're talking about. Tables would turn, should they decide to cooperate. But no.

For I am only a mere creature in their sight. Worthless ideas do I possess.It won't create a better team.

For I am, or rather we are too, lab rats. Experimental subjects. Should they fail, they succeed in finding the wrong way to commence it, but we?

We shall suffer.

What doesn't kill? At least watching the 'road' does not.

BUFFALO (New York): State police say a truck driver was watching pornographic movies on his laptop computer when his rig struck a disabled car on the New York State Thruway near Buffalo last month, killing the driver.

Thomas Wallace of Ohio was arrested Tuesday. He’s been charged with second-degree manslaughter in the death of 33-year-old Julie Stratton, a mother of two from a Buffalo suburb.

The 45-year-old Wallace was being held in Genesee County Jail on Wednesday. It was unknown whether he had an attorney.

Investigators say Wallace also violated federal trucking rules by sleeping no more than four of 27 hours before the crash.

Stratton’s car was struck soon after she called police to report she’d hit a deer east of Buffalo. -- AP'

Thou shall not drink and drive. That we've all heard. Using mobile phone in you right hand, and a cigarette in the other, driving a manual car. That I've watched. You know they are many drivers who are able to hold two different items in each hand and yet manage to steer out of trouble. Eating while driving and etc. But watching porn? Come on. Where did he put his laptop? On the dashboard? On the passenger's seat?

Man. Things people do to satisfy their lust.

Through rough patches are the pages of yesterdays burnt in torments of memories.

Dedicated to Yen, Yon and Chandy.

Original song. Written and composed by the greatest dude in the world. ME.

A night that is younger than my life..

It's not scrutinised. This matter at hand. Beyond the barrier of hope. All potent was vanquished when the seraph took no heed of what I've uttered to the whole world.

Yet, my beloved.. You hailed my name so here I place myself within your presence.With arms outstretched, but my voice still sealed, you showed ultimate benevolence. Not once. Not many.

Because you  still are in ubiquity to me. My past, the present and future. You are there.

Take no heed will I not repeat doing, though the capability I have, cried out for me to commit so. But no. I remembered again your ultimate benevolence. Pure understanding.

So listen my love.. Have you not enlighten my iniquities, I shall stay blinded by defilement.

Now.. Shall you hear my proposal...?

Anyway.. It's late like hell and I've got to wake up early tomorrow, yet I'm still doing this stuff that is worthless. Should anyone understand this, keep it to yourself.

Should you not? Welcome to the club.

Goodnight bloggers and readers and facebookers.

Dogs barking with jelousy at the birds of heaven. Mutual love.

In the wee hours of morning, right after dawn, rain starts to shower down upon Bintulu. But I suppose it wouldn't be the one that drags on for hours, causing clogged drains and bringing down the mood dramatically. What's with birds singing songs of wisdom? If only I'm able to interpret what they are telling me this early hours.

Anyway, rain or shine, we got to prepare ourselves for the battling of this asinine scholastic ideology.Ready your bayonets, men! For today. We shall march on this academic carpet that will lead us to the throne of knowledge!

It's basic knowledge actually. Absurd.

I told myslef not to bother bout this. But sorry, I just have the urge to do so.

[caption id="" align="alignnone" width="544" caption="Christmas present"][/caption]

Woohoo! This makes me wanna clap my hands *clap clap* and brings tears of joy to my eye *sob sob*. Once again, we Sarawakians are left to be punished by the more civilised. Once again, please allow me to share this joyous feeling with you all. Forget AF, American Idol, the EPL or Barack Obama or even Miley Cyrus, Hani Tarmizi is the woman of the hour! No! She is just 'The Woman'! She needed no audition, nor need she be the first  lady to take a poo on the moon. All she needed was one sentence, and BANG! She's on her way to superstardom! Now that's an achievement that should be recorded in history.

*Clap clap sob sob*. Bravo bravo!

We shall name our children after her. No. Even better. Build schools in our state in her name. An address that goes like this :

Sekolah Kampung Perhutanan Hani Tarmizi, Jalan Perkampungan Sarawak Mundur Benci Ak, 242009, Gatal Burit, Sarawak.

Now that sounds like a brilliant idea, isn't it? Hani Tarmizi oh Hani Tarmizi. I'm a Sarawakian myself, raised by apes and I was fed with the petals of Rafflesia all my life. Just for everyone's mini info about Sarawak :

• Our paddy field acts as our airport. Where it can support AirBus. Scarecrows as traffic controllers.


• We make laptops and computers out of bamboo and banana leaves.


• Our houses are not 'kampung' la. We are nomads. We have to move around because we have 'burit gatal'.


• Bintulu LNG? haiya. Tipu only la that one. We only supply kayu balak. ABF? Pfft. All hutan only la.


• Bakun Dam? Hutan.

There are many more and I hope my fellow readers would want to share to their thoughts on the brilliant Hani Tarmizi, the most observant and up to date woman we know! And to all Sarawakians! Hani calls you ladies sluts and bitches. It's actually her way of saying that you are the most beautiful people, both outer and inner beauty. The jealousy of a woman. Venomous.

Alright. It's getting late. Gotta look for a tree to sleep on. My laptop is starting to be ripped apart.Need new bamboo and leaves. Try pandan this time, at least there is a fragrant.

Come to Sarawak la Hani. We will treat you like a queen. Sorry aa. You have to swim and use rakit most of the time. Don't know how? We can teach la. Climb tree also we can teach you. Just come la, kay? We prepare a tree specially for you. Your baju? Uhmmm... Daun nipah, k? n kura-kura empun shell.

Last proposal. Why not make 24th December, Hani Tarmizi Permaisuri Putih Sarawak Day ? And to make it all the more special, we create a ritual. On this joyous occasion, at 8.00 p.m every 24th December, we shall garuk our burit nok gatal.

God Bless Sarawak!

Why share when we just don't care?

Impossible to locate under these massive piles of rubble. Especially when the situation had been deprived of the right instrument. In similar manner to those who are suffering in Haiti. My condolences are reached to those who have lost their loved ones, and to those who had to bear witness to their death, be strong at heart and sow courage into the heart of the world.

It’s hard to accept these disasters. More horrible is when we have to watch them die, or look at people dying on our screens. Sometimes we scream out our sympathy on the screen, hoping that our cry could somehow divinely scud with the clouds and comfort them in their last moments. Giving them a gleam of hope. Hope gives them the heartbeat.

So it’s third week into school and I know I shouldn’t be spending much time here. I should be doing what I’m supposed to do. What I am imputed to do, not because of what was given, but what I have chosen myself. The delinquency I’ve committed shall not adumbrate my merits. Elton John ones said during his concert that “The media today are displaying the bad side of people and the good ones are cast out. But I believe that the basic human nature is all good”. It goes to show that people are only aiming at people’s faults, and condemning only the wrongdoers, so as to say that I myself look only at my faults. Don’t we realise that?

What I have seen among the youths around here are they like to share. I often see youths around my age, younger or older, sitting in a cluster. At first glance, they have one thing in common, all of them – I’m talking bout 3 or four, could be many times more -, sharing a cigarette stick. It’s funny when you think of it, four young fellas puffing twice -three puffs the most-, and passing it around. Somehow like a ritual, where the cult members would pass the chalice, drink the "blood", to bring themselves to “state of divinity”.

Even road users. It belongs to everyone. And I mean it literally. You might hear pissed drivers yelling “You think this is your father’s road!?”. I often have the urge to see them scream back “Sharing is caring!”. And all is swell. Road bully reports would decrease dramatically.

I recall witnessing a road accident after it happened. Many swarm in to the scene. A major one where a pick up truck smashed into a Kelisa. Fortunately, none was seriously injured. But what I noticed was that, among the many swarming in -including myself-, three quarter of us didn’t lay a finger. We stood around, clothed with shock expression and start making our own theories on how it happened. “The driver was drunk, I’m sure” “Bravo, Captain Obvious”. We just talk. A few particular groups of people I notice however, would stop their car nearby, take out their latest SLR, snap a picture or two, back into car and drive away. They were smart people I tell you. They knew there was nothing else they could do.

So why is it that we bother nosing into other people’s business? So here’s my chance to opine based on my observation and reasoning. We just want to make ourselves feel helpful and needed, so we would feel good for doing absolutely nothing. This is the moment when we share our nothingness.

Stop acting stupid, or stop being stupid?

I dragged my feet. Feeling all algid and plain. But the words are still echoing within the walls of my thoughts. "There's no turning back." Where have I drawn the locus of my past?

Instead, the door is stretching further with the walls closing in on me, as if threatening me to leave this sovereign household. Even till the point I crumble. So under pressure, the only sensible choice was to cower away.

Till I brim hope, only to realise that dreams have their limit. The higher you aim, the further you're projected. Imagine two runners. One for the money, one for the passion. That is to say, one for a crowd, the other for the whole world. Who would display more passion? Who would strive harder? Presumably, the higher goal.

Ultimately, when is raised in a manner where no man perceives the same as the test subject, conclusions will be messy and by that, clash of great ideas. Great minds think alike, yet great minds fight for the one idea, such as the case of Einstein and Bohr. How can we unify the world around us?

So one will start making assumptions based on their presumptions which are generally based on theories and advance human intellect. Unproven yet accepted. Like we always do. The basis of human nature.