I told myslef not to bother bout this. But sorry, I just have the urge to do so.

[caption id="" align="alignnone" width="544" caption="Christmas present"][/caption]

Woohoo! This makes me wanna clap my hands *clap clap* and brings tears of joy to my eye *sob sob*. Once again, we Sarawakians are left to be punished by the more civilised. Once again, please allow me to share this joyous feeling with you all. Forget AF, American Idol, the EPL or Barack Obama or even Miley Cyrus, Hani Tarmizi is the woman of the hour! No! She is just 'The Woman'! She needed no audition, nor need she be the first  lady to take a poo on the moon. All she needed was one sentence, and BANG! She's on her way to superstardom! Now that's an achievement that should be recorded in history.

*Clap clap sob sob*. Bravo bravo!

We shall name our children after her. No. Even better. Build schools in our state in her name. An address that goes like this :

Sekolah Kampung Perhutanan Hani Tarmizi, Jalan Perkampungan Sarawak Mundur Benci Ak, 242009, Gatal Burit, Sarawak.

Now that sounds like a brilliant idea, isn't it? Hani Tarmizi oh Hani Tarmizi. I'm a Sarawakian myself, raised by apes and I was fed with the petals of Rafflesia all my life. Just for everyone's mini info about Sarawak :

• Our paddy field acts as our airport. Where it can support AirBus. Scarecrows as traffic controllers.


• We make laptops and computers out of bamboo and banana leaves.


• Our houses are not 'kampung' la. We are nomads. We have to move around because we have 'burit gatal'.


• Bintulu LNG? haiya. Tipu only la that one. We only supply kayu balak. ABF? Pfft. All hutan only la.


• Bakun Dam? Hutan.

There are many more and I hope my fellow readers would want to share to their thoughts on the brilliant Hani Tarmizi, the most observant and up to date woman we know! And to all Sarawakians! Hani calls you ladies sluts and bitches. It's actually her way of saying that you are the most beautiful people, both outer and inner beauty. The jealousy of a woman. Venomous.

Alright. It's getting late. Gotta look for a tree to sleep on. My laptop is starting to be ripped apart.Need new bamboo and leaves. Try pandan this time, at least there is a fragrant.

Come to Sarawak la Hani. We will treat you like a queen. Sorry aa. You have to swim and use rakit most of the time. Don't know how? We can teach la. Climb tree also we can teach you. Just come la, kay? We prepare a tree specially for you. Your baju? Uhmmm... Daun nipah, k? n kura-kura empun shell.

Last proposal. Why not make 24th December, Hani Tarmizi Permaisuri Putih Sarawak Day ? And to make it all the more special, we create a ritual. On this joyous occasion, at 8.00 p.m every 24th December, we shall garuk our burit nok gatal.

God Bless Sarawak!