Aug 23, 2011

The answers to the old school jokes!

So here you go! The answers to the questions I posted in my post entitled "So many reasons to laugh about. Like recalling old school jokes!" Click on that link should you have not read the questions.

Some of them might not make sense to you, but try to keep an open mind about this. And some may make sense to you but it is not at all enticing, try to keep an open mind on that too.

  1. Ikan Terubuk (Through-Box)
  2. Kasut Bata (The Brand)
  3. Twilight (Tuai Light. Tuai is old in Iban)
  4. Metallica (Pronounce it as Mee Tallica)
  5. Hollywood (Holy Wood)
  6. Disc Blue. (Disc Bulu)
  7. TaliBan.
  8. Mi Wantan (Mi One Ton)
  9. Lembugini. 
  10. Pecah rekod.
  11. Di Thailand. (bengkok = Bangkok)
  12. Kenyah West. (Kanye West)
Please remember not all you pronounce the answer the way it meant to be pronounced, so it is actually OK if you want to call me a noob joker. 

The jokes are meant for True Sarawakians! 

So if you find this funny. You are a true Sarawakian!

And if you're not Sarawakian and find these jokes funny. You are a true Sarawakian for a day!

Have a nice day peeps!

Aug 22, 2011

To those aspiring ballers, we know how it feels.



My favourite YouTube comment of the day.

So many reasons to laugh about. Like recalling old school jokes!

To those whom it may concern. The following are list of jokes that I find to be very hilarious. If you don't get it, or don't find it funny at all. It's ok, we Sarawakians like to make our jokes that are beyond our time so you all may have something to laugh about in the near coming gloomy future. As for my case, these are old school jokes that really prove to win against the test of time.

By the way, lame jokes are funny too.

Here are some of them!

  1. Antara semua ikan, ikan apa boleh tembus kotak?
  2. Antara semua kasut, kasut apa paling berat?
  3. Antara semua cahaya, cahaya apa paling tua?
  4. Antara semua mi, mi apa paling rock?
  5. Antara semua kayu, kayu apa paling suci?
  6. Antara semua bulu, bulu apa paling lucah?
  7. Antara semua tali, tali apa paling ganas?
  8. Antara semua mi, mi apa paling berat?
  9. Antara semua lembu, lembu apa paling laju?
  10. Kapal terbang langgar lalat, kapal terbang terhempas. Apa pecah?
  11. Sebuah kereta terlanggar tiang lampu di tepi jalan raya. Mana bengkok?
  12. Antara semua Kenyah, Kenyah apa paling berkulit gelap?
I know many of you know the answers to all the questions. And you may not find them funny. But I do. Cause these kind of jokes remind me of my true nature as a Sarawakian. It reminds of home. Of who I am.

And it's nice to recall all these jokes (In cases like some of you that have forgotten about these humourous questions) and laugh to the things that made us laugh so hard when we were.. Uhmmm.. Younger perhaps? Haha.

I'll give out the answers tomorrow. In the meantime, enjoy recalling all your childhood jokes and do share them in the comment section for others to see and laugh too!

Have a nice day peeps!


Aug 20, 2011

The man!

As many of you might have already known, I was not excepted to enter in any government universities. And the repercussion of that result is that I lost hope in even wanting to enter any government universities. (skipping the appeal process. I know, I know. You can bludgeon me however you want.)

So the next step was for me to enter into a private university. And my choice was Swinburne in Kuching to go pursue for my degree.

Obviously, the top responses I get when I say I'm going to study in Swinburne is :


  • "Nevermindlah, your father is rich."
  • "No problem for you, you got money mah"
  • "Kau nang kaya sik hal."
  • "Kau hidup senang"
  • "Boss kau loaded bah"
  • "It's not a problem for you"
I know those who are joking around saying things like that, but I know many are being serious when they say I was holding a fist full of diamonds on the day I was born.

At most times, I wouldn't mind people joking about this, cause I would be jocular with them. But when it comes to studying in private universites in Malaysia, many knows it's not cheap; unless you were really born with diamonds in your hands!

Is it hard to understand that I want to further my studies and that my father is willing to go to that extra mile just to have enough to support me?

Why can't you say something like :
  • "Wow. You have an awesome, Dad"
  • "Your dad must really love you to do that"
Or maybe some words of encouragement :
  • "You should really work hard so that the sacrifices your dad has done will be worth it"
  • "Like your dad, you should be willing to go that extra mile too"
I'm not saying that I can barely survive there. It's the way most of you put is like I have a lucrative life whereby I can get anything I want, whenever I want it. Life ain't that easy and simple for me.

And I don't blame you guys out there for not understanding that part cause people like to jump to conclusion only by listening to one sentence.

"I'm going to Swinburne, though because there's....." "Phwaaaaa....!! You so damn rich la brother!"

No chance to explain.

A retired government servant, my dad still works under the hot sun at long hours just to ensure that there is food on the table, especially to compensate my alien gastronomy. And that I can receive the best education he can offer.

Since, my dad has given me this chance, I will get the best out of it. It's only way I can repay him.

To make him proud.
Not to disappoint.

I can write something that is much longer than this to portray my gratitude in words, but I know most of you won't read the whole thing. Haha.

When your father believes in you, he'll do almost anything to make sure you achieve your dream. And that faith your father has can make you feel like you can achieve anything. Awesome. Really.

So this is a simple post where the simplicity is at its best.

Specially for my Father, Mr Joseph Douglas Fonseka.
Love ya, dad.

 *Nang cool habis nya tok*


*I just realised I don't have a picture of me and my dad alone in my phone. This is the closest I could get. lol*

Have a nice day, peeps!

    Aug 19, 2011

    Teen lovebirds in a knot after kidnap scam

     *extracted from StarOnline*


    WHEN a 17-year-old girl disappeared six days ago, her parents were distraught and approached the media to help find her.

    They were further distressed when they received a call demanding RM50,000 ransom on Tuesday, and immediately lodged a police report.

    However, on Wednesday when the girl was found, the relief felt by her 49-year-old father and 40-year-old mother quickly turned into despair.

    Police told them their daughter was suspected to have conspired with her boyfriend to trick them into paying the RM50,000 ransom, reported Kosmo!.

    The girl and her jobless 19-year-old boyfriend were arrested while getting into a car in Saujana Puchong at about 9pm.

    Subang Jaya OCPD Asst Comm Zainal Rashid Abu Bakar said police tracked the teenage couple following investigations into a threatening phone call made by an unknown man to the father demanding RM50,000 for her release.

    The two are being held at the USJ8 Subang Jaya police station and their case is being investigated under Section 384 of the Penal Code for blackmail.

    *What happened*

     Boyfriend : Sayang, hujung minggu nak buat ape ye? Hidup abang takda makna la sekarang ini. Duit takda. Nak spon sayang makan pun tak dapat. Yang peliknya, kenapa sayang masik juga nak paksa diri dating dengan abang? Kau memang paloi kah?

    Girlfriend : Saja.

    Boyfriend : Oh. Kenapa tak ke sekolah?


    Girlfriend : Saja.


    Boyfriend : Oh ya kan?


    Girlfriend : Eh. Apa kata kita minta duit dari bapa sayang? Sayang dengar, bapa sayang ada dapat bonus 8 bulan bulan ni. Nak cuba tanya ka abang?

    Boyfriend : Adui. Malu la sayang. Handphone dengan baju takda. Takkan nak gi mintak bogel-bogel?

    Girlfriend : Macamlah abang tak biasa.

    Boyfriend : Betul juga. Jom pegi!

    *on the way*

    Boyfriend : Eh. Eh. Eh. Jap dulu sayang. Apa kata kita mainkan perasaan bapa sayang?

    Girlfriend : Idea yang bernas! Tepat betul lah masa. Kan sayang dah balik rumah seminggu. Mesti bapa dah risau. Beritahu sayang kena culik nak?

    Boyfriend : Settle! *dials the girlfriend's father's number with a nearby public phone* Hello. Ini Encik Zulkifli kah? (name changed to protect true identity)

    Zul : Ya, saya.

    Boyfriend : Dengar berita kau dah terima gaji besar bulan ni? 

    Zul : Kau nak kha? Bank dah penuh. Datang rumah lah k. Ada RM50,000 tinggal.

    Boyfriend : Alaa.. Mana-mana la. Rasanya cukup la tuh. Tak boleh kah bagi banyak sikit?


    Zul : Datang dulu. Kalau ada lebih boleh la bagi.


    Boyfriend : Bodoh. Baiklah. Saya datang. Haish. Kalau takda duit. Nahas kau, anak kau mati kebuluran.


    Zul : Deal, pok!

    *a nearby police had actually tapped their phone conersation just for fun, and being half-drunk, he thought it was ransom money; sensing there was a bad argument between them and hearing a word about Zul's daughter*

    In the end, the couple got caught. The fact that they are still under investigation is because the police had found no proof to pin them guilty.


    It's all just a misunderstanding, really.

    Although I must admit that this is an unfortunate event.

    Have a nice day peeps! 

    Love arts and design?

    This post is specially for any of my readers who are deeply interested in creative arts and design.

    You don't have to be a Nescafe lover to join this. You just need to believe that your are a creative designer and that you can be the best.

    And you may stand a chance to win RM10,000! (Holy Shmokes, that's a lot!)

    Try out your creativity to see if you can "Be the best and beat the rest!".

    There's no harm in trying this out.

    Hope to hear you win! :)

    Click HERE for the link to the event presented by Nescafe.

    Have a nice day peeps!

    My Room. Before and After I tidied it.

    It was a long empty morning. So I decided to tidy my room a little. It is quite messy and makes me feel uncomfortable.

    I am here to show you how it looks like before and after I clean up my room. Do tell me how I rate as a cleaner!

    BEFORE




    Look at the amount of dust collected on the radio.








     I let the pictures speak for themselves.

    Anyway, here it is. After hours of dropping sweat and tears.
    AFTER

    Stock piles of underwears in the corner behind the door so that your parents can't see them when they open the door. Smart.



    Push everything aside and put your laptop on the table to make your table look more 'professional'. Smart

    Put a stool next to your table for you to put your books that you need to easily take. Smart.

    From this angle, the pile of clothing can't be seen. Smart.

    Look at the amount of dust that has disappeared. Cover them with books or magazines. Smart.

    Add a teddy bear to make it look cute and clean. Smart.


    I even cleaned my whiteboard! White is clean. Smart.

    Stock your clothing in a corner away from sight. Can be used for emergencies. Smart.

    Always keep your cable in reach when you're sleeping. Smart.

    I did well and smart, don't you think? 

    I put my whole heart into this, seeing how disappointed my parents were after seeing how messy and untidy my room is. I deserve a reward for this.

    Anyway, how many of you out there tidy your room as good as me?

    It is always a good day to tidy your room. I did mine. When will you start tidying yours?

    Have a nice day peeps!

    True Sarawakian. How we live.

    Hi guys! A lot of are not sure about how we Sarawakian live. I am sure to brief a little to clear your doubts.
    This is one of the most high-tech houses available in Sarawak.


    Some live in caves. I used to live in a home like this when I was young till my father bought a better tree-house nearby. (Picture below. The last one.)


     This is the house where we Sarawakians claim our monthly rations.


     This type of houses are usually owned by the rich and famous.


    This is a picture of my current home. Looks cozy, right? I'm happy here. :)

    This is an aerial view of the most developed area in Sarawak.
     Cool skyscrapers, ey? :)

    See, I told you we Sarawakians are not left behind by modern civilisation. We possess the latest technologies too, like traveling by boat and we recently just designed a weapon called a 'blowpipe' that helped us increase our food production by tenfold. It is a sophisticated weapon that can only be handled by our leaders here. 

    We have also just finished writing our very own symphony called "Lan E" after our recent advancement in music. (The designing of the infamous musical instrument "Sape" was unveiled last Monday and the critics say that it one of the "most beautiful musical instrument in the history of mankind" )

    As always, I'm proud to be a Sarawakian. Are you?

    Someday, I will post about our attire and transportation. Worth the wait!

    Have a nice day peeps!

    TITOMBONG!

    A BIG SHOUT OUT TO MY HOMIE THOMAS SHANON!


    Aug 18, 2011

    Time to ponder..

     
     
    Sometimes I wonder what friendship is..




    M'sia is 11th most sought after by international students.

    The title of this post was extracted from a news title taken from StarOnline.


    GEORGE TOWN: Malaysia is the 11th most sought after country for tertiary education among international students, said Private Higher Education Institutions deputy director-general Datin Dr Siti Hamisah Tapsir.

    She said Malaysia now accounts for two per cent of the international student population around the world.

    "Until June 2011, the number of international students in Malaysia has exceeded 90,000 people and the Higher Education Ministry targets 200,000 international students by 2020," she said at a function with northern region private universities.

    She said the increasing number of international students in the country was supported by the higher education liberalisation policy which provides a 100 per cent foreign equity by 2015.

    Siti Hamisah said the major disciplines which provide Malaysia's strength in higher education are Hospitality and Tourism, Health Services, Islamic Finance and Business, as well as Advance Engineering and Science and Innovation programmes. BERNAMA

    So I guess, Congratulations Malaysia for getting number 11?

    Craving For Laksa.

    Does anyone know where I can find good Sarawak Laksa in Bintulu?

    Get addicted to games to be rich. Try your luck?

    For those of who loves to spend your time playing Facebook games (I know there are many out there. Don't lie. LOL).

    You might wanna try this out.

    It wouldn't hurt trying right?

    It's legit and you can even prizes too.

    Cool, ey?

    So, go try it out.

    If you are one of the lucky winners.

    I'm wishing congratulations now.

    So.. CONGRATULATUIONS!

    Have a nice day peeps!

    Oh! Almost forgot. Click Here!



    Aug 17, 2011

    The Officail Attire For The Merdeka Celebration 2011



    Have you checked today's headlines in StarOnline? In pertinent with the official attire for the 2011 Merdeka celebration.

    If you just knew that there is such a thing. Hello! I never knew there was such thing as an official attire. Am I that naive?

    Anyway, back to the subject. The headline in today's StarOnline was :

    Official Attire For Merdeka Celebration

    I clicked on the link an it led me to a news article that read :

    PM Picks Official Attire For Merdeka Celebration

    No biggy here. Just thought that some of you might find this interesting.


    The thing that actually caught my attention was the picture. Very funny la for me. No offence to anyone, ok? Not even to the PM nor to the Malaysian Handicraft Development Corporation, credited for designing the attire.

    The news article has this photo of our PM, Dr. Rais Yatim and the models displayed :


    Not a good view, huh? No worries, here's a photo of the models.

    I know, I know. I just gave your dull day something to laugh about. You're welcome!

    Although, I personally find the guy second the right very fascinating, don't you?

    And I personally don't find the attire attractive at all, do you?

    Cause at the end of the article :

    "Rais told reporters later he hoped the attire to be worn by the Cabinet ministers for the Merdeka celebration would attract the interest of the public to purchase them after Sept 16."

    We'll see. *Full article here*

    Have a nice day peeps!

    Music clears the mind.


    This is one of my favourite sons by Jack Johnson taken from his album entitled "Brushfire Fairytales".

    Everything about this song makes look like a halcyon bird is gliding around you while raising up the tranquility in you.

    Remember life is not always about the disappointments.

    Or only about the happiness we had.

    Sometimes it's just about emptying your mind.

    Forget the bad times.

    Even forget about the good times.

    Think of nothing.

    Sit.

    Relax.

    Indulge on your favourite drink.

    Watch the beauty of nature.

    And enjoy Jack Johnson's beautiful music.

    Have a nice day peeps!

    Aug 16, 2011

    It's Talking Bout Humility.


    If you are unhappy of someone's success,
    You're just Jelous.
    And you are no doubt a Hater,

    But if you are unhappy of someone's success
    because they are too proud of their success
    and rub it in our faces?

    Then it's ok to grab their face and scrub the floor with it.

    Or you can just kick a football that aims directly at his face. Muahaha!


    *always be humble about your achievements*

    Have a nice day peeps!


    Aug 15, 2011

    You drive your own life!


    Having Kacang Parang (Broad Beans) packaged by the infamous Tong Garden for dinner. What is becoming of me?

    Weight loss attempt is a total failure.

    I need the inspiration. The motivation.


    Nah. Actually I don't really need to depend on them. The dependence is there just so that I can have more reasons to procrastinate.
    Don't look at me like you don't furnish your thoughts with excuses.

    We all do that. Unconsciously or some may even do it on purpose.

    Just to grab someone's attention.

    It's not all bad. Trying to fool yourself and others just to imbibe more people into your circle. To me, it's like they say :
    It's just business.

    So I shall not say yes to running away, or say no to saying yes to turning over a new leaf.

    I am the inspiration.
    I am the motivation.

    To all my haters out there and to those who don't believe in me.

    Prepare yourself for the last laugh.
    Cause we all know that I will
    FAIL.
    AGAIN.

    You are the driver of your own life.
    It's your decision to just grab the keys and go.

    Have a nice day peeps!

    Aug 9, 2011

    What would you do?


    When you're having stomach upsets. Bad abdominal cramps and pains. What do you do?

    When you experiencing the awkward moment when you fart but you actually soiled yourself. What do you do?

    When you're in an important meeting/exam and you can just barely bear the pain in your stomach. What do you do?

    When the solution of your stomach ache is not defecating. What do you do?

    When you got confused whether it is a salt solution or salt solution that eases your stomach pain. What do you do?

    When you are laughing so hard that you accidentally soiled yourself. What do you do?

    I've been having this bad stomach upset since this morning. It's a quarter to eleven now and I've visited the toilet for a total of 9 times already today. I ate nothing abnormal the night before. I had Salad Chicken Rice in SCR (No. It's not their fault. Although I really hate their service) and couple has the same meal but have not made any complaints.

    Are any doctors or doctors to be who are reading this? May I know what other reasons that may cause this? I once hear that physical/mental stress can cause abdominal pains. True ah?

    Anyway,

    When you have the chance to skip school/lecture/class by lying that you have bad stomach ache. What would you do?

    I know I would love to stay at home and sleep.

    Goodnight peeps. Have a nice day!

    So how old is your old friend?

    How long does it have to be for you to consider an old friend, old?
    Is it that you grow old together with them?
    A friend you haven't met for almost a decade?

    Whatever it is, meeting up with old friends was an exciting experience. It's like colliding with that bottle of memories we store up somewhere deep in our mind and we just break it, letting all the slightly forgotten history shedding its light once again.

    After I left primary 6, some of my close friends during primary went their seperate ways and we have never really gotten in touch since then. It was not only until an ex-classmate of mine created a Facebook group page that was "EX Student 6A 2003" .

    It's 2011 and I just finished my Form 6. It's been 8 years since I've last met many of them. And my gosh, was the meetup really a test of my memory. There was so many events that happened back then that I never recalled for the last 8 years!

    1. Our little crushes and how we often tease or got teased by our peers till we just have to cry as the only final solution. Some of the crushes remain till today, perhaps? (teehee)

    2. How we disliked "Kaki Report" of the class. Remember jotting down names of those who makes noise in class? I had to be in that list.

    3. How we disliked some teachers who liked to pinch us for answering a question wrongly or for not handing it out homework. I remember my Science teacher, Cikgu Roslan, who liked to pinch our nipples (Chest area of boys, you perverts) when we least expect it. He'll be walking around the class while explaining/teaching, and out of nowhere, before you could evade, you'll be screeching in pain.

    4. When we boys like to make jokes in class, often just wanting to impress the rest of the classmates, particularly out crushes.

    5. How a friend of mine cried once because I was a little rough when we were jokingly wrestling in class. Sorry, Syarol! Haha!

    6. How many of my classmates was beyond the point of disliking a friend of ours because he had to be on top of us in everything. We described him as "Asa Cool" and "Timing habis".

    7. How Iskandar, Alby and I use to play Red Alert on a piece of blank paper. Don't ask me how was that possible. Cause I myself am trying to recall, how was it even playable. But I remebered we had made strict rules regarding on how to play so don't "Over Cheat".

    8. I remembered getting caught by a teacher when I was in Primary 5. I tucked my school pants into my socks, imitating the Japanese soldiers during their invasion. Till today, I don't understand what was wrong with I did. He called me up front to stand in front of the entire class and he forced me to walk around the school like that. I constantly declined saying so I was sorry and that I won't do it again (Yeah, right). So he let me got after giving a nice real hard canning. I was somehow was referred as the class' Phua Chu Kang ever since.

    9. How we often disrespectfully fooled with the names of our classmates' fathers. (Malap! This is for you! Who let the Doug out? Hahaha!)

    Well, of course there are many stories. Some I can't post here because it might offend some people and I don't want us "old friends" to lose contact till we hear from each other again in another 8 years.

    But throughout the 8 years, our physical appearance may have changed drastically. Now with facial hair, some may look chubbier, some with totally unrecognisable hairstyle, some looked much slimmer than how I remembered them, some have grown grown into beautiful ladies (I'm seriuos!).

    *A jump from 12 to 20 years old may of course caused all these changed. I just want to be Captain Obvious for this post.*

    But ever since we've been meeting up for the last one month, I realised that actually, nothing much had changed.

    So how what's the story between you and your friends? Don't let those memories slip away.

    Have a nice day, peeps!


    Aug 4, 2011

    Class will begin on September 5th!

    Arrived Kuching yesterday. Got my brother, JJ to pick me up from the airport. I dropped him at his university and headed straight to Swinburne University by noon. I just wanted to settle the application as quickly as possible.

    A little unfamiliar of the roads in Kuching, I did lose my way for some time before I finally found my parking space in the Uni's campus. I got out and quickly got hold of a woman I saw passing by me to ask for directions from her. She gave me a very detailed route to where I should go to hand in my application.

    I thanked her for her help of course, especially because of how detailed her description was. But if I could take back my gratitude, I would, for she was actually leading me to the wrong place. I trusted her for she looked a staff working in the Uni, wearing a nametag with the Uni's logo around her neck. Yes. She led me to the wrong place, and that made wonder, did I ask wrongly or was I just a victim of her prank?

    Anyway, I got hold of someone else, a student, to lead me the way, which was actually in another building. I could only laughed at myself. Darn you, mak cik Swinburne! ( I could only refer her as that )

    So I sent in my application form along with some appropriate documents. The marketing officer, Elaine David , was friendly and helpful so I can leave as soon as possible as I was hungry, having skipped breakfast that morning. Although she was unsure of the terms of the scholarship given by the Uni. I didn't have to catch her off guard, so I ignored the thought of wanting to pour in more unsuspecting questions like "If I had diarrhoea during lecture, is the toilet close enough for me to make it?" or "Do I have attend the lectures?" .

    Meh. I applied yesterday, and I received my offer letter acceptance earlier today, and I'm eligible to apply for the entrance Scholarship which gives me a 15% discount of my tuition fees for the first year.

    I'll be doing the Bachelor of Engineering (Mechanical Engineering) course for 4 years beginning September 5th.

    I'm happy and I hope you are happy too. Have a nice day peeps!






    Aug 3, 2011

    I'm out of undergarments!


    It's two hours before my flight and I'm just about to do my packing. For a 3 days trip. Here's what I need.

    Important documents? Checked.
    3 pairs of shirts? Checked.
    A pair of shorts? Checked.
    A pair of jeans? Using.
    A book to read instead of stupid in-flight magazines? Leonard Mlodinow's A Drunkard's Walk. Checked.
    Phone charger? Checked.
    Deodarant? Checked.
    Wallet? Checked.
    Toothbrush? Checked.
    Underwears? Oh shoot. Underwears. Only found one that is dry. The rest are still in need of drying!

    The problem with me is that I tend to pile my dirty clothing in my room before I put them to wash. Till the room reeks a certain unpleasant smell. Which is why I'm always short on underwears when I travel.

    Oh well. Guess it's time to go blow-dry and iron them.

    "Isaac! Go get mum's hairdryer now! Fast"

    Have a nice day peeps. I'm late.

    Constipated man can’t keep it bottled up


    A SIXTY-YEAR-OLD man is in a fix because he could not extricate a bottle from his anus, Sin Chew Dailyreported.

    It is learnt that he had inserted the bottle into his bowels to cure him of his constipation problems.

    It said the man, from Guangdong province, had to seek help after he realised that he could no longer get the bottle out.

    Doctors were shocked to see the image of the 16cm-long milk bottle when they did an X-ray scan on him. They later managed to surgically remove the offending item. -StarOnline August 2nd 2011-

    He must have really loved the star in 1man1jar. If none of you know what I am talking about, it's best to keep it that way.

    Although 16 cm is relatively short though, considering that the large intestine is about 1.5 meters long. However, I'm guessing a hard solid bottle so it's not bendable and the shape is not adjustable. I can only imagine how uncomfortable it us to constantly feel a solid bottle injected into your rectum and stays there.

    Try to put yourself in his perspective before you stop reading onwards cause you're just disgusted with how easily I'm taking this. The thought to me is uncomfortable to me. There's only so much a man can accept. He might be slightly less educated and imagining that if his rectum provided a larger diameter, the flow of faeces is easier. This hypothesis is obviously accepted. The only flaw in his experiment was that he did not tie one end of the bottle with a string for him to pull it back out. No proper planning.

    I googled the definition of constipation and got this as the first result.

    "A state of the bowels in which the evacuations are infrequent and difficult, or the intestines become filled with hardened faeces; costiveness."

    Evacuations are infrequent and difficult. So I'm guessing this man does fit into the definition?

    Anyway, I think he could have pushed the bottle through the natural method of standard defecation if he had inserted the bottle from the bottom first. What do you think?

    Aug 2, 2011

    What's so funny?

    A game of COD4 anyone? I'm bored as hell here. This is today's outcome. mother is my brother, Isaac. I can't imagine how he must have felt.

    Maybe the level difference pulled him down a lot. I shall switch profiles next time and we'll see the outcome.


    Going to Kuching tomorrow to send in my application to Swinburne University. If they reject my application. I will break a branch from any tree nearby and will ask any stranger to whoop my bare ass with it in public.

    One thing got me wondering this morning though. I called the University up and was patched to a female officer in pertinence with the application. I told how many passport photos to I need to give to them for the application. She asked if I was Sarawakian. I said yes.

    And she laughed for at least 4 seconds before saying that Sarawakians don't need to give in photos. Am I a funny Sarawakian?

    Need a shave?

    Yesterday, because my COD game was cancelled, I decided to have a haircut. Since people from so many different parties, which includes a lot of mums, are not fond with my eccentric hairstyle. I had to agree that it was ugly. Plus, it was interrupting my basketball game where I have to "Beiber Hair Flip" everytime I want to shoot the ball.

    So I forced my friend, Philo to come along with me and went to the saloon.

    Barber : Cut it short?

    Me : Nah. Just make me look a little less like 'orang gila' in public and hopefully keep the mums from complaining so much about my hairstyle.

    Barber : So just a layer?

    Me : Yes. Oh. Please keep it long. I still want to tie my hair.

    So it took her less than 10 minutes to cut my hair and the barber admired my natural curl, although it was just a compliment to ensure my return to that place in the near future. And of course, I like being fed with compliments, so I ignored the fact that it was a business strategy. We need the love too, right?

    Anyway, once she was done. I stood up, looked myself in the mirror and said,

    "Shit. There's not much of a different and this is gonna cost me 12 bucks. Oh, what the hell. At least I can still do the Beiber Flip."

    I went home. And it took me an hour to convince my family members that I did go the saloon.

    Maybe I should reconsider.

    I watched a video of a blogger being interviewed last week in Big Think. And the blogger mentioned that if you are aspiring to be an established blogger, you need to blog at least twice a day. Two posts in a day.

    At first I thought it was very absurd to blog twice a day. What is there to blog about twice a day? Is the toilet paper in your cubicle on the left or on the right? Or do you wipe your backside with your left hand or right hand?

    But then, I realised that there is some reasoning in his comment about this. He said anything less than two posts a day means you are merely just managing a website.

    There is truth in there. Think about it.