What we have on our wrists is not really ours..

Climbing down the ladder is not what they do,

Nor will them inject humility in their vessels,

For they are up high above my tiny soul,

All I could do is listen to their trembling roars.

No. It's preposterous for them to be on par,

With beings like me who seem to have no sense of life,

Just a dust under the table, a bone in a fish,

I'll be wiped cause all I do is choke their breath.

Am I that defiled? Need I live in destitute?

I was clambering to seek pardon from them,

But I was tossed with a coin that has no sides,

And instructed to decide on a game chance.

Yes, I was raised..

Yes, I was taught..

Yes, I witnessed the struggle..

Yes, I was provided..

But what was not given is what won't turn back for anyone..

Time...

Unforgettable Alzheimer's..

Flicker, flicker and flicker those lights,

Conjunctively similar to the strobing hopes I held,

In the one whom I've fallen for.

I want to spread my wings and flap,

To shake of the dust of regrets,

To capture better moments to cling to.

When hope shall falter not shall I,

Cause those around me strengthens my barricade,

Of good will and altruism that deserves no human judgement.

How can I express my gratitude I questioned,

Not by actions of the limbs nor words of the mouth,

But all I can do is propogate my heart's gratification.

Thanks, for the memories..

Patheticsm.. A new religion for father figures!

MALACCA: A woman who became enraged after being slapped by her husband stabbed him in the chest during a fight at their home here last week.

The incident happened last Wednesday night when the 39-year-old woman returned home with her nine-year-old son to find her tipsy husband chatting with a neighbour.

An argument ensued between the couple, and the 41-year-old man slapped his wife after questioning her about her earlier whereabouts.

Incensed after being verbally and physically abused, the woman stabbed her husband twice in the chest with a kitchen knife.

The man was later rushed to the hospital and is currently warded in the Malacca Hospital’s intensive care unit.

Melaka Tengah Police District CID chief DSP Gan Chip Poh confirmed that a woman had been detained following the incident, but refused to divulge details owing to ongoing investigations.

Ricky : Aaaaa.. Mana kamu dua pergi tadi tidak bawa sana? *masuk rumah selepas menampar jirannya*

Katrika : Saya tadi bermain tennis dengan anak kita, Danny. Lama sudah tidak memukul bola dengan kuat sampai kena kepala orang.. hihi.. lawak la tadi..

Ricky : Oh.. Senang cakap, kamu berdua pergi seronok tidak bawa saya la? Haa!!??

Katrika : Ya. hihi.

Danny : Kan bapa bodoh. haha. bapa bodoh dan lembap tak pandai main tennis macam Winnie The Pooh . Booo! Saya kobek bapa! hmmph!

Katrika : Hahaha. Saya pun mau ikut! Ricky!! Nah! *kobek*

Ricky : Saya marah! Ahhhh! Sini kamu Danny!

Danny : OK. Hihi.

Ricky : *slap!*

Danny : Haha. Bapa memang lembap dan bodo sekarang macam Barbie Doll mak.

Katrika : Sayang.. Kenapa lemah sangat ini? Cuba tampar saya dulu, lama sudah tidak rasa kelemahan sayang.Ricky bodoh. hihi..

Ricky : *hard slap!*

Katrika : Danny! Betul kata awak. Lebih teruk dari Barbie Doll mak la.. Macam Tiong Man.

Danny : High 5 mak! *high 5*. Bapak bodoh.. hihi..

Katrika : Ricky, Ricky.. Patutla anak kita tidak respect awak.. Lemah betul.. Cuba pakai pisau ok? Mari saya ambil.. Nah. Saya ajar sayang ok..?

Danny : Yay mak! Cucuk bapak sampai dia nangis! hihi..

Ricky : OK.

*stab stab stab stab stab stab stab stab stab stab stab stab stab stab stab stab stab*

It was the son's fault.

HAVE A NICE DAY!

Oh, the wonders..

I grew weary of my conscience,

Deceived by my ingenuity,

I shall not beg for nonsense,

For I'm shrouded with iniquities..

Yet her eyes still displayed,

The stone she carved,

With the words written,

So pure,

So gentle,

But it's all a breeze now..

New Year flourished with love.

Ahh.. The smell of a new year is in the air. At least, where I'm at with my family busying themselves mending the red carpet preparing a grand entrance for the Year of The Tiger. Fresh paint and fruit cakes.

Is it merely a concidence that this special occasion falls on Valentine's day?

It's the holidays and everyone is hustling and bustling around to buy gifts, tidbits, cooking and probably doing some last minute furnishing. Everyone's busy with their responsibilities today, but when it comes to family gatherings/occasions, there just seem to be enough time to prepare everything. And the satisfaction of it all adds in the joy.

Nevertheless, love's scudding in the air, into the nostrils of every love bird. Though, there are people who feel they are unfortunate during this day of romance cause they are alone. Not to worry, there are millions around the world who feels the same. Plus, it's the new year! Season of  joy! You should get out and steal oranges and fill your pockets with red packets. I'll bet your day won't be as dull as the years before if, we as Malaysians, join in the festivity. Attack every house available with a sack of empty stomach.

Lion dance excites me. And all the cacophonies are miraculously real music to my ears. And red, the colour of good fortune and prosperity, enlightens the atmosphere.

Watch the fireworks and you'll realise that there many others who are watching it with you. God bless your day and Happy Chinese New Year to all and to every love birds, keep the love strong and have a memorable Valentine's Day!

Wishes.

Happy Birthday Pornshua!

19 years of life, 7 years of friendship defiled. not bad.

Melody tunes the air..

Mother nature stirred a rush of debilitating wave,

All boisterous occasions contracted itself,

Almost to nulling into the abyss,

Imbibing all jubilant hearts along.

But a melody filled the air,

Though not to a level of expectancy,

It somehow vacuumed the torridness,

And clothed a smile in the air.

It made it a little clearer,

That many times in life,

We forgot the pleasures we ought to experience..

The sun shone brighter and it seemed cooler just then..

It was a false hope..

Only the affliction bore was for a moment,

At present all had change for I utter,

When I propogate my problems,

All she does is just mutter.

Though this I feel sorrow,

Like gravity tugging me down,

She still didn't reach out,

And left me searching for her crown..

It's not that simple..

All my gears are worked up,

Agitating me,

Feeling perturbed and dumbfounded,

Cause this frivolous task I have done,

Without much concern the pages are folded.

They say the night is young,

But my spirit is aging,

It falls along with grains of time,

Onto my bed of which I'm lying..

Tomorrow's a another day..

It's just what we have to go through..

I sit here in this abject room,

And watched my statistical deduction.

All burst of cacophonies died down,

When the atmosphere too was killed.

The light dimmed, yet enough for us to listen.

The heatwave discharge by the bodies,

By those who by now are now wilting.

It was and is only by will,

To stay upright and focused.

Still the mind decided to sway into euphoria.

But the room's too abject.

The ambiance is too pathetic.

So here I choose to write,

The disappointment of heart..

It's just too dull and hot..

You want to go Lion Dance or Candlelight Dinner, Honey?

[polldaddy poll=2670585]

Let us race. Who ever overcomes the sounds barrier wins.

At least readers of TheStarOnline have some sense in their coconut head. It won't work. It's the speed that drives them nuts. That gives them the power. Rehabilitation won't work. Like the poll suggests, beyond rehabilitation.

It's all the desire of being cool and respected by peers. Peer pressure and influence. I read somewhere. It says something like this :

Although, family members may be the subjects that molds a child's behaviour, it is friends who impose who a greater influence in their character growth.

Sort of . I might have changed the structure. But you get what I mean. Your friend plays football, you join them, they play guitar, you start learning, they buy cigarettes, you smoke them. So when they bring a bike that sounds like 10 elephants farting, with a blistering speed 25 km/h, you'll get your own bike and start asking "How do you make that sound?".

Bedtime thinking..

The spirit of the heavens had died down,

Leaving the pastures in obscurity.

So in this night I lay my body,

On my bed,

With my mind playing the reminisces,

Of what our path had converged to.

It does pull the corner of my lips,

Not downwards, but upwards.

Cause all these images are so enlightening,

For it gives me a reason,

To get up and smile the next day..

Goodnight..

Who to be weighed down?

Be quick now!

Flee!

The sun dropped it's illumination in front of me,

And made myself eminent,

Among my disciples who are eager,

Enthusiastic in executing their objective,

Which is rather asinine.

It was an idea born in the minds,

Of those who rejected reasoning.

For they chose to only,

Satisfy their own thoughtless judgments.

Who shall bear the weight of their mistakes,

If not the inferior?

The next sunrise I shall see,

Not the light I hoped,

But the darkness bestowed,

Upon my so called misdemeanor.

The truth shall set you free...

Maaf kerana lambat tetapi selamat.

Oh yea. My best friend is having his finals today. Every nerve, muscle and thoughts that he bears are tingling with scintillation of terror and utter excitement. All converged to one reason. It's the finals. Badabing badaboom.

All the best, dom. Looking forward for your return to our treehouse.

What's the best?

Debilitated, all energy siphoned,

Into a river of which lies no barrier,

Cause it's cycle where it'll return.

Why our commander changed the outpost,

To evade from the enemy from the east,

Who's plan are formidable to foes of all.

For life is not about changes,

We are never truly susceptible,

Nor are we genuinely volatile,

To what cloaks over us.

We make ourselves believe that change,

Is often for the better,

Yet friendship has taught me that,

What's different is only gratifying for one,

And for that,

We have ourselves to blame.

I was never alone for without you am I with you..

A breeze whistles in the air,

Whispers a chill dat ignited my memory.

When I walked in the forest,

Created by the chants of mother nature

I recall all times when you and I

Climbed the ladder to meet the angel

That once brought us together

Whenever the moon was oblique

I wailed, I cried but none listened

For I was shoruded by the darkness

That's slowly imbibing my soul

Into oblivion where you once told me,

That my forefathers went and never come back.

For I ran and the sky cracked a drop

Of light that teared my eye,

For I no longer need to hide myself,

From the wretched world I had left behind.

Follow me, Rex..

Oh Why, Oh Why do you have to come back with him?

JOHOR BARU: A mother is finding it hard to forgive her daughter’s boyfriend although his family paid more than RM30,000 to secure her release from loan sharks.

Ooi Ah Jeow, 50, still held the boyfriend responsible for the mess her daughter, Teng Yee Lee, had gotten herself into.

Teng had gone gambling with her boyfriend, Chong Tze Kim, 30, and is believed to have incurred heavy losses after gambling there.

They were said to have borrowed money and the ah longs had taken two family cars as collateral.

“One of Chong’s parents then went to Kuala Lumpur to negotiate for the safe return of Teng and the release of the two cars by paying more than RM30,000,” said Johor Baru MCA Public Complaints Bureau deputy chief Michael Tay.

The 27-year-old was brought back to her home in Taman Tun Aminah here by Tay.

Ooi said she was relieved to have Teng back but she found it hard to forgive Chong.

On Jan 19, Teng had asked for the car keys on the pretext of servicing the vehicles for a trip to Penang.

Her mother later discovered that Teng had left home with the two vehicles and Chong.

******

Ahhh.. Ah long, ah long, ah long.. The story of the great money lender continues..

However, this story has some 'ambiguities' in it. The report says that it "is believed they have incurred heavy losses after gambling". Yeah, it is 'believed' that the world was created after the oh so majestic "Big Bang" and it is believed that I was raised by apes.  And also, the report saysthey were "said to have borrowed money and the ah longs had taken two cars as collateral". It is said too that Neil Armstrong ate durian on the moon and it is also said that there is Big Foot on a backpack holiday on Mars. "One of Chong's parents then went to Kuala Lumpur". One of my parents went to a women's conference and one of my parents went to the men's bathroom. Come on, don't know which one? Confidential maybe.

"She found it hard to forgive Chong". Poor dude, all the blame on him. Understood though. Own children are always innocent. Especially daughters.

However the last line of the report "Teng had left home with the two vehicles and Chong". I don't know, but it made me thought for a while that the daughter was the culprit here. Chong misdemenour was 'somehow' Teng's fault. "The robber escaped with RM1,000 in cash and a laptop" or "Husband had left home with Rm10,000 and a car".

But actually dear readers, the whole point of this news piece is not about the Ah Longs or the mess the two got into. Nobody cares about illegal loan sharks anymore. The title of the report says so :

Daughter's back at home but mum finds it hard to forgive

What's with today's news ? Oh, and you may stop laughing.

I know your problem but that's all I can do.

I feel I'm on a collision course with my alter ego. Sooner or later, one of us will be squashed and the other will prevail in life, laughing mockingly at my splatted self.

I'm still seeking for that little gap, even the smallest of all space, for me to be able to catch the tears of the sun that illuminates not only my path, but my acumen as well. Maths is surprisingly imposing a rather heavy resistance when it should enter my welcoming brain. Maybe I have neglected that Maths is something to be understood instead of just tossing a coin into the well and wish that the educator would stream their knowledge to you by staring back at you.

There was a kid this morning, a Form 4 student I suspect. You see, what makes him a highlight of my day is this. In his ragged clothes ( i might be over the fence here), came up to me and raised his index finger to me. A typical way for someone to ask a buck. Don't you have to be real pathetic to go ask all strangers for a dollar? Sadly, I ignored him because this happened twice, and my pocket was empty. These kind of people are like cats. Once you feed them, they'll come back meowing to you everytime they get their nasty claws on you. Sorry kiddo, wish I could help, but it was just out of my league.

Call me cruel, but that's the way the world rotates. Life's unfair. To earn something, you shall never resort to begging. Earn it with dignity. Sometimes, we would furnished ourselves from top to bottom, every nooks and crannies of ourselves with sorrow, empathy and sympathy and all somber crap, and that's just about it. We would complain about why are there people in poverty, we would stay up all night to watch people suffer on the news and that's about it. All our sorrows end there. Realise that now, eh? Ask yourself. Why do you bother in empathising in other people's  so called "pathetic" life? You might never know, they could be having the time of their life even with the little that they have. They could be having more fun throwing stones at pigeons and counting how many skies are there than you watching the same shows on TV everyday.

The problem is we like to know other people's problem so we feel good bout ourselves. It all actually comes down to our intentions of wanting to know it all. It is harsh, but lets face it, many of us are too engrossed with our own responsibilities that we can't attend other peoples' quandary. All we are able to do is just know about it. The sad reality.

Sometimes, we just got to scrap off all our idealistic hopes and just sit down and watch the news. Keep us updated with not happenings around the world, but complaints of other earthlings instead. Now, shouldn't we be helping ourselves first before we lend a helping hand?

Wipe away not the tears, but the eye wax. You're faking to be blind.

have a go after long abstinence from poetry. Here it goes :

Oh heart of madness shall I persevere,

So as to able myself observe the other side,

But the fire was doused before it succumbed,

To the treacherous wind so fierce.

Audible is my little thoughts,

So to my peers who realised,

That life is too simple to understand, and just by

Concluding with intricate decision making.

That's who we are actually,

Feeling superior by attaining advance intellect,

When the society lies and spit in your face,

But we're shrouded by a translucent barricade,

That seeks to impede only reality.

Thus,

We live in our idealistic world.

Peace out and goodnight.

Hope the acclamation would be perpetual. At least for this calendar.

I ain't saying I'm gonna clap my hands and do the Mexican wave with a million hippies for you guys who never showed up just now. But I ain't too dissapointed as well.

All I'm saying is that you guys made me proud to be what I am and enjoy what I do. As for the superior? Blah. You'll meet guys like that in near future. The type that doesn't really walk the talk. Instead he uses verbal abuse to get his way. Typical.

As for the proposals and presentation of ideas? Well. Not too shabby but needs more improvement so everyone would learn a thing or two. That's my objective.

Men and women with integrity gritted in their buttocks, you guys just lit my hope actually. I've shared my gratitude just now and I'm doing the same here. Thanks a bunch.

When Newton spoke of Physics, he could have meant the Physics of life. Everything is really connected.

There's always a first time for everything. Cliche. Clap2.

And as for this particular sundown, all this albatross accomplished to diminish myself till I stand with my pattelae, escalated me to a point close to sniveling.

Yeah. The world circulates perpetually, the universe is expanding perpetually, even apprehensions are perpetual. All my foreboding thoughts are unraveling before me. Yet, it still intrigues and bewilders me, for the first time, all the impediments closed into me, and all I could have done was lose control of all sensibility. Why? How?

Newton's First law of motion states that any body will continue moving at a constant velocity if there is no external force acting upon it.

He was right. No one stopped to comprehend for what I was given.

Newton's Second Law of motion states that for any body experiencing a force acting upon it, it experience an acceleration.

Bingo. I was only imputed with more frivolous act and therefore I'm going down at a faster rate.

Newton's Third Law of motion states that for any action done on a body, there's a reaction which has the same magnitude but acts in the opposite direction.

Head shot.  Whenever you think you only have one problem to solve, there's always another to attack you from behind.

It's no wonder I love phycis.. It's all bridged together with life..

1 + 1 = 2 hard.

Bang! and Boom! I myself have no intellect on my actions. These are moments when even the greatest quotes of quotes and wisdom among wisdom will you just crush them without even thinking to touch them. Like I said Bang and Boom with every might.

We often deny that we are never overpowered by animosity. Pfft. A second is always something. Even when you manage to suppress it, presence is there and that matters to oblique eyes.

I pass my judgments. I deciphered the somber ambiance. But mother nature still impedes me after all those scrutiny. It can't be frivolous can it? Yell cut id if it can.

I derived the equation. But the constants are abjectly susceptible to changes. So the final product? There's no answer.

Again I seek help.

Which is the right way?

Oh Lord the source of Divinity in life, I seek for your answers in which I can't decide myself. Help me make decisions and that I'll be adamant on them. Be stern only if they are the best choice. Outline every step for me as I have done for my peers. All source comes from you, thus the answers I seek can only be revealed by you.

Don't look too far ahead. You may overlook yourself.

It's impossible, exceeding the minimal level of trust for them to believe me. For I am debilitated from the barrage of bullets they fired on my exposed flesh. Bullet holes, only inch apart all over, yet they can't decipher the affliction I'm bearing. Doesn't the right belong solely to me for me to impute only partially on them?

Worrying you might not picture it, it's like this you see, I was fired with endless rampage and weights and the final solution is only myself. Can't blame to judiciary system cause they were all asleep in the courtroom. It may be understood as not being altruistic, but as I have mentioned in my earlier post, we only base our life on theories. On what other people believe. We find it tedious for us to prove it ourselves.

A great scientist once said "Never accept a mathematical formula only because others have proven. Derive it for yourself then you accept it."

Whenever life gives you lemon, you either make lemonade or you can decide to grow more lemons. By growing more lemons, you are therefore faced with two options again. To just keep growing or sell and make lemonades. How much patience can we grow in ourselves? Sadly however, that many foolishly decide to spend all they have earn in a day. The future is not for us to decide should we never consider it. But there's a solution. As too I have mentioned before in an earlier post, we should work on nature before it works on us.

Act. Don't just sit and read and complain. We sympathise but that's it. We criticise and that's it. Like dog chasing cars. Once they get it, they just don't know what to do.

Therefore, plan ahead. Think ahead a little without missing the little details of the present. Cause we never know that the solution could actually be the problem.

It's endurable as long as I could still catch sight..

Are these the cluttered moments of which the fairy spoke of?
Have I not trotted through this abject lane, would I have discovered the answer I'm searching.
But I was too stubborn. Skipping acceptance and remained stagnant at deception of my own soul.
How could I not deceive myself? It's absurd, beyond the level of reasoning.
So, why are all imputing it on me? For was my act deleterious to anyone's feelings that are so tender?
I once said this :
"To be in oblique state was my only intention. To scintillate was my objective. But to be a juggernaut? Never was the purpose."
I seek to enlighten. Not to attack the mind. But the conscience.
But myself I've damaged. And I've lost on what I need to cling.

Still keeping it going after so long...