Due to slight development in self-enlightenment, I shall be a sealed pac-man, unable to chow down any glowing beads. I shall be a mute barber for the deaf, yet I can still hear and listen.
I've realised I've breach the barrier of endurance. I have gone too far and others are unable to hold on the equanimity.
Even my physique can't hold on anymore. Every rustling of tress intimidates me. I shouldn't be damaging myself like this, yet it is what I have done and must authorize myself like how it was before.
For I have uttered beyond ad infinitum, crumbled because of the solid words I've projected.
It is not forgiveness I seek, for it's not the desired repercussion.
What I ask is not justice, for it was and still is my foolish demeanor that had formed the gap.
I'm not in search for compassion, for I have honed the blade on which I used, and shattered the innocence of the superior ones.
There will be no sheer understanding, for I have not showed benevolence on those who were in exigent of it.
I've misguided trust into being volatile and it's now susceptible yet it's a lie to myself.
I've understood that I've been elusive, evading the crap I've produced, distancing from the fire I've ignited. Often diverting the fingers to the upright.
All I want is not my request. A demand that is somehow beyond my own understanding, especially in this state of amalgamated thoughts and sentiments. Everything may not be what it seems. Such as time, who people believed to be a constant, unchanged perpetually, but is proven to be different pertaining to it's variable.
What I'm searching for is time where I can approach myself, unafraid of the outcome.
No posts till time knows when.
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